"Let Me Cut Your Cake With My Knife..."

LEXINGTON PARK, Md.- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported. The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.

At what point does normal ass sex become not enough? No, I don’t mean normal anal sex. See, when I first heard this story I thought, “Man, I have seen some wild shit before but this takes the cake!” I thought it was a drill that was used. But then I figured, why don’t I see what a saber saw is. I wish I hadn’t.

Now, I imagine that they placed a sex toy over the saw instead of just replacing the blade with a sex toy. Either way, this is some worse case scenario stuff. “What’s the worse that could happen from us doing this?” This. This is the worse that could happen. Everyone does stupid crap. At some point in our lives something dumb will happen and maybe we’ll get hurt. We wont wanna tell anyone or go to a doctor. In this case you have to. No band aid is gonna fix this. Its like when they dude let that horse destroy his…ass. He was too ashamed to go to a hospital and died from his injuries.

I worked in a hospital and the crazy thing is that people tend to lie to their doctors. The few occasions that I had to go to the hospital I was telling them everything they needed to know to make a problem go away. Thankfully I never had something happen so severe that I had to stay overnight. But with a saw slicing your vajayjay in two? At least they did something right that night. I cant believe she was released so soon. The miracles of modern science!

This is also one of those times where I wonder who initiated this. I have heard of chicks doing some stupid stuff and wondered how a guy could be that convincing. Because if the chick was the one to say, “Hey, baby. Go to the garage and get your saw…” then the world is way stranger that I had previously believed.

Rockets.