Kids are lame. Too soft. I see commercials and ask myself, “So this is where the future is headed?” I look at the soft playgrounds and sigh. I check out their cartoons and shake my head in disgust. Kids have no idea on how much they are missing out on.
Let’s start with the fact that kids don’t go outside anymore. When I was younger you’d have to fight to keep me indoors. Outside was where the dirt was. Where my friends were. Where the action was! So why is it nowadays there are actual commercials that tell kids to go outside? The flipside of that is that its so damned dangerous outdoors. When I was a kid you had to worry about being abducted. Now kids get stolen by people that are related to them. I played inside but it was usually a video game, but even that made me wanna play outside!
Kids are so baby soft. Hmm. That didn’t sound right. What I mean is that their playgrounds are made so that they never get hurt. Getting hurt and dealing with pain is a part of childhood. Do you want your first bloody knee to happen when you’re in high school? Get all that shit out of the way now! Our playgrounds were steel and splintered wood. None of this plastic coated, foam rubber floored bullshit you see today. When we fell we got hurt, cleaned ourselves off, and continued. Now if a kid gets hurt someone has to sue and someone has to get fired. Take your lumps and be a real kid.
Bullying is even softer. Remember when you got picked on in person? Now they have this Cyber Bullying nonsense. When I was a kid if a bully fucked with you there were only three things to do.
1. Fight back and make sure you hit them hard enough to where they would never try that shit again.
2. Just let yourself get picked on and grow up with all kinds of anger issues because you were a pussy and couldn’t stand up for yourself.
3. Get someone bigger than the bully to fuck them up good.
Now you can send them a text back or better yet, tell a parent. We are watching the most passive aggressive generation grow up right before our eyes. You have to treat them with kid gloves because you don’t wanna hurt their feelings. Knuckle up, bitch!
Their cartoons and shows make me wanna stick my dick in my eye. When I was little I could wake up on a Saturday morning and watch cartoons from 5am till 2pm. Now, there are barely any to watch and the ones that are available are so horrible more than a minute of viewing knocks your IQ down by about forty points. What happened to classics like Transformers, COPS, Thundercats, Jem, and Centurians, or shows like Pee Wee’s Playhouse? It got replaced with cartoons about having your pets beat the shit out of each other and Hannah Montana. Oh, the sadness! I would hate to be a parent now and have to see the shit that your kids have to watch. High School Musical. Need I say more?
Rockets.
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