On Oprah earlier they had this lady talking to young teens about sex. These two 14 year olds in particular interested me. This lady asked them how long they planned on being together. The boys answer was close to 6 months. You could practically hear the girls heart break. She said she didn’t have a time limit on it. This boy could not dig himself out of this hole.
They were sitting there all lovey dovey until then. They were still holding hands but I started using my “Lie To Me” knowledge and watched her body change. She got quieter. She kept her legs crossed. It was bad. At that boys age you have not learned the art of shutting the fuck up and not making situations worse. Next they started talking about what would happen if the girl gets pregnant. Oh, the kid thought that it should be up to them whether or not they had sex. He said adoption (owned!) and would ask the chick if she would keep the baby (double owned!). Then the lady asked if he knew how to use condoms and he kinda got this face like, “What do I look? Retarded?” A little bit, yeah.
Another topic was the encouragement of young girls masturbating. A lot of older women got pissed at that. Mind you, these are the same pent up, pill popping, post partum, spending the 70’s through 80’s high women that loved free love and spread herpes like butter. Its funny how our parents fucked things up so irreparably are now asking why kids are so fucked up. Anyway, they said how we teach boys to masturbate more than girls. I started that shit so late my penis weeps for me. They say it gives girl a better sense of what she likes and has her not have to depend on a guy for satisfaction.
I agree.
This reminds me of the big fight a while back about teaching sex education in school. If parents weren’t talking about it and you didn’t find out about it from a sibling or friends, what option did you have? I am using me as an example. There was no internet when I was growing up. Hell, the internet wasn’t even cool until a couple years after I got out of high school. I heard things from my older brother. I listened to kids in school. There are some things people cant teach though. There was no manual on how to give head or finger a chick correctly (trim your nails and keep ‘em clean, guys).
If this not teaching shit keeps up the way it is you’re gonna have chicks that think they’re Virgins because they only have anal sex. Guys that fuck like rabbits and think they’re the shit. Penises being bitten because girls don’t know what they’re doing. Oh, the humanity! I never had “The Talk” with my parents. They’re like plants to me. When I first had sex I had to just kinda wing it. Yes, it was bad. I wont get into the black condom, the filthy room, or the fifteen minute time limit. Trust me: it was bad.
This was also a shock to me. I always thought that guys couldn’t have bad sex. I had heard chicks talk about bad sex. His dick was short. Too big. Too thick. Too skinny. It was like some sick ass version of Goldiecocks and the Three Dicks. But I thought that once a guy was in there he was all kinds of happy. This reality slammed my brain hard as I struggled with how I felt and wondered if I would ever want to have sex again. Of course I did. Don’t be silly. I hope people get their shit together and start talking about sex more openly. You don’t have to be graphic and talk about how big your shit is or what it tastes like. Just don’t keep it in the sheets the way it has been for so long. Everyone likes to pretend they aren’t sexual when we all are. Just whip it out, folks.
Rockets.
Well, at least that girl found out the hard way not to lay down and give it up for the first guy she thinks she's in love with...pity she had to find out on (inter)national TV.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it, how do 'we' as a culture teach boys to masturbate? I'm not a boy so ok, maybe I missed that class.
As for assumptions we make about sex before our own sexual experiences, I was shocked at how, well, difficult it was to get a guy (or at least my guy...) to, er, just get it in properly. Watching movies and stuff, I thought it slipped in just like a video tape slipped into a VCR...
One of the most memorable things about men and sexual expectations that have ever been said to me was in a class on feminism. Someone, I don't remember who, said that feminism was about releasing women AND men from the constraints of sexual stereotypes. I wondered what the hell men had to complain about, it's girls who end up being painted as sluts, it's girls who are pressured by boys to have sex before they're ready, it's girls who have to deal with emotional and physical/reproductive fall-out of a badly judged/badly planned sexual encounter. But it was pointed out to me that boys have as much pressure on them to have sex, the thing is, the pressure on them is different in that if they don't want/feel ready for sex, they are made to feel emasculated, and if they don't want to, or don't successfully pretend they want to shag anything in a skirt, then they're, again, emasculated, and sometimes, a guy's right to choose about a pregnancy is overlooked entirely if their girlfriend doesn't want to continue a pregnancy, and a guy's feelings can be hurt by sexual rejection just as much as a girl's feelings.
This never occurred to me. For some reason, I had decided that as sexual beings, men's emotional growth had been stunted at the caveman stage. I had a lot of growing up to do...still do, possibly.