Honey Rings (Not A Sex Toy)

So earlier this week I went to the 99 Cent store with my sister Cam. While we were there I saw some cereal called Honey Rings. They look like Cheerios’s but shiny and huge. I told her “I hope these taste like Honey Bunches of O’s!” If you have never had that cereal you have no idea what you’re missing.

I pour the Honey Rings into the bowl and am shocked by how skinny and small they are. They look nothing like on the box. Either way I doubt they will taste horrible like Grape Nuts (which contain neither grapes nor nuts). Here goes nothing.

I sat for a moment and looked at these things wondering why they were shiny. Like, did little elves polish these things? I see they were made by a company called “Pampas” and wondered what that means. Apparently its some place in Argentina or something. So far to go just to end up costing less than a buck.

I taste this and my mind gets blown. I start having flashbacks and cant figure out why yet. “This doesn’t look like it should taste like this” I thought to myself.

Where in the hell did I taste this before?! This is the same feeling I had when I sniffed my glasses case in junior high. It drove me crazy until I figured out that it smelled like my old ass Mr. Potato Head toy. This tastes like something I had years ago and if I don’t figure out what that was I will surely snap. Not screaming crazy nuts but walking down Sunset Blvd. in my draws nuts.

I’ve got it! It tastes like fucking Swedish Chef cereal! Why in the fuck does this taste like Swedish Chef cereal? That cereal didn’t last all that long but tasted awesome. I stand triumphant knowing that I have averted my eventual insanity for another day. Take that, God!

Now I’m confused. Yeah, it tastes good but the fact that it tastes like something that I haven’t had in 21 years disturbs me. Was the formula just sitting around somewhere? Is Swedish Chef cereal still being made in South America? How about Krispy Kritters, Mr. T Cereal, or Rice Krispies with marshmellows?

Either way, if you happen upon this stuff buy it. If you want a flashback and great taste get your mitts on this stuff. It’ll make you feel good. And it wont make you rush to the bathroom Raison Bran. I swear I thought there were two A’s in raison…

Rockets.