Miss Californiacation

"Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."

This was Miss California Carrie Prejean giving her opinion on gay marriage. This has caused quite a stir and I’m sitting here trying to figure out why. All she did was give her opinion. That’s it. Is she not allowed to do that? Let me tell you something you may not be aware of: Miss California, Miss Universe, and Miss America pageants mean nothing! That’s right, I said it. When they win these things it doesn’t give them any special privileges. They don’t get to eat for free, join Congress, or get a super power. They get a title that means shit to no one except the person in the pageant and apparently Perez Hilton.

Okay, we get it. You’re gay, dude. He called her a bitch and said that he would rip the tiara off of her head if she won. Get over yourself. If she believes that toilet paper should be rolled down underneath and not over does that make her a bad person? No, it just means she does things differently. She believes that only dudes and chicks should get married. Okay. Then we move on to the swimsuit portion where all these chicks with the same exact body and damn near the same face parade on stage while my penis takes a nap.

And how do I feel about gay marriage? I don’t care. I don’t think its right for a state or country to not allow people to marry one another because they were born liking the same sex. But then I don’t think multiple marriages should be allowed. Perhaps two top. Drew Barrymore had been married twice and each time it was for a year. She’s done. No more even though every year she finds “the one” and then its over and we don’t say anything about it. If I had a talk show I would ask her, “So what the fuck’s your deal with men?” What was I talking about.

Yeah, I don’t think people say to themselves one day “I wanna be gay. I wanna have the threat of being beaten or killed because of who I choose to love. I want my family to stop talking to me. I want a general feeling of unsafeness (new word alert) in my life. That sounds awesome!” People are born gay. Deal with it. But…

I think there is this percentage of people that are gay by choice. If you are one of these people then choose early and don’t fuck people over by marrying them, having kids, then getting a wild hair (or dick) up your ass and telling your wife that the past few years were a sham and now you’re leaving to live with Lance in Palm Springs.

Rockets.