In this episode I go over some yahoo dating advice like the 19 things you should not say to your single friends unless you wanna get smacked and for the ladies the ten reasons why a guy isn’t approaching your ass. Figuratively and literally. I also discuss my week, my tattoo, and why I am a very approachable person, damn it! Click here to download this and old ass episodes or click here to download and subscribe through iTunes. Enjoy!
There was a lot of typos in my original posting of this comment so I'm deleting and correcting it!
ReplyDeleteWas that Kevin Hart with the relationship advice? Good advice I guess...but what if the girl is really bad at blowjobs? Like, what if she has NO idea what to do with that thing? What if her man cowers slightly when she reaches for his top button and zip and smiles all sexy at him, because he can't bear to tell her that he's beyond bored and in fact slightly uncomfortable and even occasionally in outright pain from her clumsy ministrations? Hmmm. (Note: I am not speaking from personal experience. At least I hope not.)
What did Mayweather ever do to you?!
Vegetable allotments are really popular in Britain now, people in cities can grow some of their own food in these, and there are huge waiting lists for them. About that family and the expensive fruit,I'd still rather have an apple than a burger of crap. But yeah, intensive farming is the foundation of the modern food industry for a reason. It's cheap. We eat better than ancient and medieval kings thanks to intensive farming.
The killing floor: isn't an electric shock delivered to the pigs? Poor pigs. So intelligent, so cute, so sweet, so delicious. It's an evolutionary dead end, being tasty. Get Darwin to explain that one.
About that Yahoo list, sure they're clichés, but sometimes, the recently broken-hearted can only focus on being miserable. But your deconstruction of them is pretty spot-on...
ReplyDeleteI really hate people trying to set me up with guys. My friend Amy keeps telling me stories of where other couples met and why don't I try that. When I agreed to go the Gaeltacht (um, best described as like a native American reservation except with no casinos, lots of sheep and mainly inhabited by people whose primary language is Gaelic) for a week so we could both improve our Gaelic, she started telling me about a friend of hers who met her husband in a class. Maddening. My coupled-up friend are far more hung-up on my single status than I am. Other than that, whatever.
That was Katt Williams talking bout the bad BJ's. Bernie Mac once said in a stand up that he thinks women do bad ones on purpose so you can tell them to stop. He wont stop them and says they have to learn sometime. If someone is bad I have kept my mouth quiet about it. I am very very guilty of that. But if I get an awesome one I sing to the heavens. Most people are happy to have a mouth near their crotchal region and will say nothing. I think thats why guys just started grabbing girls by their ears.
ReplyDeleteMayweather is a representation of everything that is wrong with the political end of boxing. And he doesnt box. He dodges very well for 12 rounds while throwing a few punches and winning by judges score. It sucks.
They have been trying to get people to grow their own vegetables but people barely have space for that here in most places in the city. Or their too doped up on their meds to stop and garden outside.
It wasnt electricity that killed them. I tried looking it up and found almost nothing related to that particular form of killing floor.
The way you described Gaeltacht was perfect and I laughed at the casino bit. Most of my friends are single and they dont bug me about being single. They may actually prefer me that way since my last few relationships when they start going downhill I become miserable as shit.
Thanks for commenting! I was gonna say something about you being up so late then I remembered it was a holiday.
The rape-wagon! Yes. I always assume if a gang of guys are trying to get me/my friends' attention, they're not actually expecting us to come over, I assume they're just hassling us because they're assholes. Do you mean that they actually DO expect a girl to go, oh, you loud and obnoxious gang of guys, you're kinda cute and I don't feel at all annoyed or intimidated! Wow. If so, some men are impossibly stupid.
ReplyDeleteIn Ireland, if a woman has a ring on the middle or ring finger of her left hand, she's probably taken. Otherwise they're just decorative. I assume it's the same in the US. Also in Ireland if a Claddagh is worn on the right hand with the crown turned inwards, she's taken. Dunno if Americans do the Claddagh thing.
ironing! Useless fact: Egyptians traditionally iron with their feet. Big hot heating irons on their feet.
I was bopping away to your choice of track for a minute before I heard the lyrics properly. What an odd song. If I'm singing it for the next two days, I'll be mad.
Hoorah for bank holiday weekends! Hoorah! Hoorah! Also as I was saying, I had an hour's nap this afternoon and that is after thoroughly messing up my sleep schedule. Not so smart.
ReplyDeleteWell, the thing about blowjobs is...without getting too graphic for fear my mother, or worse my father might somehow, somewhy, read this some day...what a guy likes can be very different from guy to guy. Yes, I'm aware that this makes me sound like I'm a total slapper. But, um, a bit of direction can be very useful for both parties. Nice discreet hints like 'I really like it when...' solves a multitude. I have to admit I think that if a guy endures a bad blow job, a lot of it is probably his fault. Of course, sometimes the sexual chemistry isn't there, and that can't be helped. But still. Ahem ahem. Moving swiftly on...
Wow, I thought all killing floors used electricity to stun or kill the animals. Some animal rights people showed us a video about it years ago at school. Oh well. Let me know if you find out what is actually used.