"Automatic" 2 of 3

Marcus looked at Lonnie for a long time before putting his arms around her. She cringed a bit when he touched her and he noticed. He let go and sank into the couch. He did not know what to say to Lonnie. He felt as if he should cry but he got most of that out of his system when he dropped Angelo's body in the street.

"Is there something I should say?" Marcus asked. "Something we should do?"

"I'll call my mother and my sisters" Lonnie said as she slowly got up. "You should do the same." Lonnie went into the bedroom and closed the door. Marcus could hear her sobbing softly behind the door. Marcus did not know what he was supposed to do. He felt as if he should go and comfort her for their loss. But he was the cause of their loss. He felt as if he should hug her; kiss her, do anything to make her feel better. But just less than half an hour ago he planned on leaving her. Instead he picked up the phone and called his mother.

Lonnie sat on the bed with her head buried in her hands. "This is what guilt really feels like" she thought to herself. The last time her son tried to speak to her she pretended to be asleep so she would not have to deal with him. She just a while ago planned on announcing her divorce to Marcus. She picked up the phone and heard Marcus crying with his mother. She listened for a moment longer and then softly hung the phone up.

She did not know what she should do. She wanted to be comforted but not by Marcus. She actually did not want her husband to make her feel better. There was a knock on the door. Lonnie stood and opened it. Marcus was standing there with tears rolling down his cheek. He threw his arms around Lonnie.

"I am so sorry!" Marcus screamed as he buried his face in Lonnie's shoulder. "I don't know what happened to us but I still love you!"

"Marcus, I think we should…" Lonnie began.

"Our baby is gone!" Marcus shouted. He moved away from Lonnie and stormed into the bedroom. He flipped the mattress over. He grabbed the nightstand and threw it across the room. Lonnie flinched as bit of wood flew near her face. Marcus looked at her and fell to his knees. "I am so sorry…"

"It's going to be okay, honey" she said as she sat down on the floor next to him. "The police will find who ever did this and send them to rot in Hell where they belong." She kissed Marcus on his head.

"I know they will, baby" Marcus said. "But it still doesn't make me feel any better." Marcus stood and helped Lonnie to her feet. They held each other for minutes until the phone rang. Marcus kissed Lonnie on the lips and picked up the phone.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Hello, Mr. Reynolds" Officer Perez said. "Sorry to disturb you right now but there is the matter of you or your wife identifying the body." Officer Perez sat at his desk looking over a bag of Angelo's possessions. "There is no rush but it would be best if best if we handled this as soon as possible. To help with the grieving process, you understand?"

"Yes" Marcus said. "I'll be there in about half an hour."

"Thank you, sir" Officer Perez said as they both hung up.

"Who was it?" Lonnie asked.

"Officer Perez" Marcus replied. "He needs me to go identify…Angelo's body."

"Oh, God" Lonnie said as she sat on the overturned mattress. "I'll get dressed."

"No, honey" Marcus said. "You don't have to do this."

"He's my son, too!" Lonnie said as she began crying. "I have to do this! I have to!"

"Okay" Marcus said. "I'll wait for you."

About twenty minutes later Lonnie was ready to leave. They both walked to the car and headed towards the hospital. They rode silently but held hands as each of their hearts beat faster and faster for completely different reasons.

At the hospitals morgue Officer Perez stood just outside the door. He hated morgues. He hated the smell of the dead. A smell that once you knew it you could never forget it. He thought about his visit with the Reynolds'. Something about the way they reacted to the news of their sons' death didn't sit right with him. One of the morgue technicians walked up to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. His name was William Nagata. He and Perez had been friends for over ten years. Nagata was the one who had to sit with Officer Perez while he cried over the body of his son who was killed by a drunk driver. After that experience Perez and Nagata became very close friends.

"You okay?" Nagata asked.

"It's been over ten years now and it doesn't get any easier, man" Officer Perez said to Nagata. "This kid was just probably walking around enjoying the fact that he had the summer off, you know?"

"I know" Nagata said. "You sure you wanna do this?" he asked.

"It's my job" Officer Perez said while tapping his gun. "I'll be good, Will. Thanks for asking though."

"You meet the parents?" Nagata asked.

"Yeah" Officer Perez said. "Something about them is strange. I have seen tons of reactions to the news of a child's death. Tons. But these people, I don't know."

"You're looking into it too much" Nagata said. "Just do your job and go home. Get some rest."

"I will" Officer Perez said. "Whoever hit that kid is going down. I don't care how long it takes, I am gonna find the person that did this and drag them into prison. I will be there for the trial. I will be there for the sentencing. I will be there when they strap him into the chair and fry his ass straight to Hell!" Officer Perez was breathing hard and had to lean against the cool steel door to settle down.

"Don't turn this into a vendetta, Raul" Nagata said.

"I wont. Don't worry" Officer Perez said. "And the name is Officer Perez when I am on the clock. I don't become Raul until after 11pm."

"Sorry 'Officer'" Nagata said as he smacked Officer Perez on the shoulder.

"That's assault of an officer" he said as Nagata pretended to run out of the room. Officer Perez loved that Nagata could make him feel better. In his line of work you take laughter no matter where you can get it. Same for Nagata's job. He dealt with death all day. At least with Perez's job he could save a life. With Nagata's it was far too late to do anything. There was a light rap on the door. Officer Perez walked out of the room and opened another steel door. It was the Reynolds'. Nagata was standing close behind them.

"Sorry for your loss" he said as he closed the door behind him.

Officer Perez watched Marcus and Lonnie enter the room as Nagata left. He smiled at them and bowed his head. He still felt like they were hiding something. Marcus was holding Lonnie's hand as they walked over and shook Officer Perez's hand.

"I am so sorry about all of this" he said. "This is never an easy thing to do." Marcus nodded. Lonnie stared at the floor. Officer Perez could smell liquor on the both of them. "Would you like to be left alone?"

"No!" Marcus said. "I mean, I would prefer if you were in there with us."

"I want to be alone with him" Lonnie said.

"No, baby" Marcus said.

"I would prefer the two of you go together" Officer Perez said, speaking to Lonnie. "I mean, your son looks…" he said before stopping himself. "It would just be better for both of you if you did this together." Lonnie sighed as Officer Perez motioned towards the door.

He opened the steel door and the smell of dead wafted out. Marcus held his nose and Lonnie covered her mouth. They walked over to a large table with Angelo's body. A white sheet covered him. The only thing visible was a tag attached to his large right toe. Marcus no longer walked forward but Lonnie walked right to the body and threw the sheet off. Officer Perez braced himself to grab her if need be. He had seen people faint, scream, and even attack the bodies of loved ones. The way these two behaved he was not sure of what to expect.

Lonnie looked at Angelo's face. He had been cleaned as best as they could. But there were large scars visible all over his face and chest. His legs and arms were bent at awkward angles. Marcus covered his eyes and wept silently. When he removed his hands Angelo was standing over his own body. Marcus mouthed
"Not now" to himself. Officer Perez noticed.

"You really did a number on me, dad" Angelo said. "Did you know that I wanted to be a football player like you in high school?" Angelo walked over to his mother and placed his hand on her shoulder. Of course she could not feel it. "She isn't even crying, dad" Angelo said. "Look at her." Marcus wanted to cover his ears even though he knew that he would not be able to block out the sound of Angelo's words. "I look bad, huh?"

"Cover him back up, honey" Marcus said to Lonnie.

"I am not done" Lonnie replied. "This is the last time I will see him before they pump him full of chemicals and he doesn't even look like my son anymore" she mumbled.

"Cover him up" Marcus said while wiping his brow. Officer Perez looked at Marcus. He could see that he was ready to blow any second.

"Maybe you should at least cover his body" Officer Perez said as he began to place the sheet back on before Lonnie grabbed his hand.

"I said I am not done" she said as she pulled the blanket back down completely uncovering Angelo. "Now let me…"

"Cover him the fuck up!" Marcus shouted. Officer Perez instinctively reached for his gun. "This is just fucking sick, Lonnie! Sick!" Marcus rushed over and threw the sheet back onto Angelo. In the corner Angelo was doubled over with laughter. "And you shut up!" Marcus shouted at Angelo. Officer Perez raised his eyebrows as Marcus shouted at what appeared to be an empty corner.

"Perhaps we should leave" Officer Perez said as he motioned towards the door. "I will have you sign some release forms and have you speak to someone to make arrangements."

They all left the room. As the door closed Marcus took one last glance at his son. Angelo was standing behind the door as it closed waving excitedly. His face had blood all over it once again. Marcus waved as Lonnie placed her hand on his shoulder. Officer Perez locked the door and picked up a nearby phone letting Nagata know that they were done.

As they drove back home Marcus kept looking in his rear view mirror. He was waiting for another performance by the phantom Angelo. Lonnie sat quietly humming to herself. This usually drove Marcus crazy but considering the circumstances he let her hum to her hearts content.

"Do you miss him?" Lonnie asked.

"What do you mean?" Marcus replied.

"Do you feel different?" she asked. "I mean, I was his mother so I feel a strange kind of loss that I only read about or saw in movies. But as his father how do you feel?"

"I had a part in his birth, you know?" Marcus said defensively. "It's not like he just magically appeared out of thin air!"

"I know that" Lonnie said calmly. "I just want to know how you feel."

"I feel like shit, okay?" Marcus said. "I feel guilty as fuck, alright?!"

"Guilty?" Lonnie asked. "Why guilty?" Marcus began licking his lips.

"Because I wasn't there to protect him" Marcus said. "That's the one thing I am supposed to do as his father and I couldn't do that." Marcus became aware of his lips and stopped. "I haven't given you the life you wanted. I couldn't provide for my family the way I wanted. I couldn't protect my son the way I was supposed to." Marcus pulled over to the side of the road. "I have failed the two of you in every way possible. I have failed myself."

"No, you haven't" Lonnie lied. She had always thought these things to herself but hearing Marcus say them aloud made her feel terrible. "Look at me, Marcus" Lonnie said while taking hold of his chin and forcing him to look her in the eye. "We're going to get through this, okay? It may take some time but we'll do it."

"Are you sure?" Marcus asked.

"Yeah" Lonnie said trying to convince herself as much as Marcus. "We'll be fine." Marcus began driving again. He looked in the rear view and Angelo was sitting in the back seat holding one of Marcus' whiskey bottles and smiling as he dumped the last few drops into his bloody mouth.

"Hey, dad" Angelo said as Marcus squinted his eyes. He wanted to close them but he was driving. "Do you know where I'll be later tonight?" he asked. "In the morgue." He stuck his finger in the bottle and licked it dry. "Know where I'll be tomorrow? The morgue. Hey, dad" Angelo said as he leaned forward placing his cheek against Marcus'. "Do you know where I'll be next week? Next month? How about next year? Do you know, dad?"

"Dead" Marcus said softly.

"What was that?" Lonnie asked.

"Nothing" Marcus replied. "Nothing."

The next morning Officer Perez sat at his desk going over the reports for the hit and run case involving Angelo Reynolds. Something about it made him uneasy. It was not just the strange reactions from Angelo's parents. It was the way the body laid on the ground. He had seen countless hit and run victims, including his own son. But this one seemed odd.

The way the arms and legs were placed appeared to be maneuvered. His arms lay at his side. His legs were straightforward. His head lay facing up. Officer Perez mulled over pictures of other hit and run victims and compared the positions. Most were contorted. Legs bent behind themselves. Arms outwards. Heads spun sideways or completely around.

Angelo looked like he had been hit but not hit and then ran over. There was no trail of blood on the ground near his body. It looked like he had been dropped where he lay. The way Angelo's body was positioned he would have had to have jumped a few feet in the air and then hit. His legs had the trauma of a bike rider. Knees destroyed. Trauma mostly on one side of the body where it would have hit the hood of a car before falling underneath it. In the picture Angelo was on his back.

Officer Perez placed all of the photos on his desk and sighed heavily. His chief, Riggs, walked over and placed a cup of coffee on his desk. Officer Perez looked up and nodded to him. After taking a few sips he wiped his chin with the back of his hand.

"You look like shit" Riggs said.

"I feel like shit" Officer Perez replied.

"Have you been here all night?" Riggs asked.

"Yeah" Officer Perez said. "This case is really bugging me."

"I don't need to state the obvious, do I, Perez?" Riggs asked.

"No" Perez said while neatly stacking the photos leaving the picture of Angelo on top. "When I met the parents yesterday they acted strange, you know?"

"You of all people know that everyone reacts differently to traumatic situation" Riggs stated matter of factly. "You can't fault them."

"I think I can with this one" Perez said. "I was with them when they saw this kids body" Perez said while holding the photo for Riggs to see. "Something about the father wasn't right."

"Like what?" Riggs asked.

"He was talking to himself" Perez said. "And the two of them reeked of alcohol."

"They probably were very upset about what happened" Riggs said. "What are you going to do? Write them a ticket for a DUI?"

"No" Perez said. He was beginning to lose his patience with Riggs. He knew his chief meant well and was trying to help. But he felt as if the longer he waited the harder it would be to solve this case. He knew that he would not be able to rest until the person responsible for Angelo's death was behind bars.

"So let it go" Riggs said. "I can hand this over to someone else if this bothers you this much. I have plenty of other crimes for you to solve." Riggs took a sip of his own coffee. "You're a beat cop, Perez. I hate seeing you behind a desk." He took another sip and grimaced. "This tastes like crap."

"Yeah, it does" Perez said. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"Go home and get some sleep" Riggs said while pulling Perez's chair back. Perez placed his hands on his desk causing the stacks of photos to slide to the ground. One of them landed image side up near his feet. Riggs picked it up and sighed. "Raul…"

"I know" Perez said as he took the photo from Riggs.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Riggs asked.

"Drop it, chief" Perez said while stacking the photos once again.

"Go home now" Riggs said.

"No" Perez muttered. "I'm not done."

"Well, I say you're done" Riggs said while placing his coffee on the desk. "Now get your ass home."

"I said that I am not done!" Perez shouted causing many of the other officers and visitors to look. "I'm not done, okay?"

"Looking at pictures of your sons mangled corpse has nothing to do with finding the guy that hit this other kid" Riggs whispered to Perez. He leaned closer and placed his hand on his shoulder. "You're beating yourself to death. I understand you're still upset. My son Louis died a few years back, remember? So I get…"

"No, you don't!" Perez screamed. He stood and placed his finger in Riggs' chest. "Your kid died from a drug overdose in college! My son was hit and drug over one hundred yards before being scrapped from underneath a car when it hit a curb! There are pieces of my son that were never recovered! Do you know what it was like to explain to my wife that there wasn't enough of him left to merit a casket funeral? Do you know what it was like to tell my mother, his grandmother that he died playing with a new basketball she had just bought him for his 8th birthday? You 'get it'? Fuck you. You don't 'get it'."

"Get the fuck out of here" Riggs said in a low voice. "Get your shit and go home. Go and take care of your wife. Take care of yourself." Riggs walked away and turned back and faced Perez. "I loved my son, okay? Yeah, he died doing drugs. He died knowing he was a disappointment to his mother and me. But he was my son. My only son. So I get it. Any parent that loses a child gets it. And the next time you ever question me or my personal life I swear the next form you fill out will be an unemployment form."

"Sorry, sir" Perez said. "I got a little carried away. I didn't mean to…"

"Go home" Riggs said. "Just…go home."