"Okay, that was nasty."
This is what crossed my mind after I got my first kiss. For so long I craved this shit. I wanted to get laid and kiss someone. I sat around watching dudes making out with chicks. Watching my brother's get girls left and right. What was so bad about me, damn it?!
No, I wasn't the smoothest fella around. I had and still have no game. Sure, I can convince you to do shit but I cant persuade you into anything. I can and will logic away your logic.
I have been told that I have a no-game game. I know what that means and it would be cool if that were the case. But it really isn’t. I’m just one of the laziest pursuers ever alive. If I like someone I will not tell them. I will wait for them to make a move. I blame it on Social Asperger’s.
This chick was named Lafawn. Yes, that was her actual name. I was 13 and lived across the street from her on 78th Street. She was a year older than me. Its funny. I don't know why I was even into her. I think it was the fact that my girlfriends before her were over the phone and I never met them. Maybe it was her showing me her hickey covered cleavage. Okay, let me backtrack this a bit.
I met Lafawn through her ghetto ass cousin that lived right across the street from us named Trevon. Trevon was a chick but it'd be hard for me to prove it based on how she looked. Her cousin Lafawn had just split with some older dude. I think he was around 19 or something.
One day she asked me to give her a ride on my bike. Sounds fun, huh? No. Not when you know what she looked like. She was big. Like big. She got on the handlebar and I struggled to keep that son of a bitch going. I was actually sweating just taking her around the corner. We get there and she gets off the bike and lowers her shirt showing me a few bruises on her cleavage. It was gross.
"You could so this."
That wasn't exactly titillating to me. She climbed back on and we rode back home. About a month or so later she called me over. I spent this entire summer in my pajamas and barefoot. I walked over and she was waiting at her front door.
"Kiss me."
I was shocked. I had never kissed anyone on the lips before and was excited. I knew that I wasn't gonna ask for a kiss first. So we did it and it was horrible. I had never kissed so I didn't know exactly what to expect but I knew it wasn't this disaster.
I left and went home and brushed my teeth. It was like The Crying Game version of tooth brushing. We never kissed again after that. I would make up reasons not to. Plus, I didn't really like her all that much. She was ridiculously jealous of other chicks. There was this one chick that lived a couple doors down from her. She was really nice but Lafawn saw me wave to her one day and started talking so much shit.
"Her house is filthy. She has roaches everywhere. She is stupid."
I was so whatever. I wasn't trying to talk to her. We ended up moving just a few months after living on that street and I had her Nintendo and shit. We moved at night. After moving to Bowesfield near where Fedco used to be (now a Target La Cienega and Rodeo) when my brother decided to call Trevon.
She asked about the Nintendo and I was like "Aw, damn it, dude!" I packed it all up and my parents dropped it off. I sure as hell wasn't going. When my parents got back (they were heading back to grab the last of what we left) my father was laughing his ass off.
"You lucky you didn't go! Her whole family was waiting for you!"
Her family meaning her mom and grandparents. I didn't feel bad about keeping it since she was so mean and her cousin Trevon knew who stole my brother Luther's car radio and wouldn't say who it was. Even Stevens if you ask me. Anyhoot, I never talked to her again and have no idea what happened to her.
The moral of this story is to follow your gut instinct. I knew it would be a waste of time but was so in need of some form of female contact that I didn't care. It was stupid. Later I would date because it just happened which isn't good either. Don't do what Dante don't does, damn it!
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