Time For Breasts!

A couple weeks back Time Magazine had an image of a 20-something year old mother breastfeeding her 3 year old son on their cover. There’s only two reasons why they would do something like this. They need more people buying the magazine or they want dudes getting excited about seeing titties on the cover of a nationally published magazine.

“They’re just breasts!” some woman that doesn’t know any better is saying right now. Let me tell you ladies something. Dudes love looking at boobs. It doesn’t matter if a child is hanging from the end of them. We will CGI that kid right out of the way and imagine we’re there. Hell, breastfeeding is its own category in porn!

I’m not even super into boobs and I get caught up in this nonsense. You women can sit there and say there’s nothing sexual about breastfeeding one minute and acknowledge that men are terrible beasts that hump furniture to get off in the next. So don’t act shocked when someone sees you doing this in public and wants to tag themselves in.

Years ago I had a conversation with my late brother about seeing people doing this in public. I’m not a fan of it. There’s a line from Married With Children where Al Bundy and Marcy are having an argument about it when she tells him that its natural to which he replies “So is peeing but you don’t see me running around doing it!”

I need one of these shirts.

What bothers me about this cover is the look on the chicks face. You know that look. It’s the same look people give when you see them spit on the sidewalk, throw trash on the ground, or sneeze without covering their faces. The look says “And…?” No one likes that look. And the poor kid. Don’t even get me started!

This kids mom answered a casting call and got to show her tits and figure on a huge magazine. He’s being used as a prop so that she can gain some form of notoriety. She says that she’s shocked by all the attention she’s been getting. Yeah. Because posing on the cover of Time is something that happens, like, all the time. Right?

Of course it does!

Just so everyone knows, I think you should be able to breastfeed if you need to. Just not with a 3 year old clinging to you. When a guy tells you  “Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing ” he means that in more ways than one. Oh, and you cant get mad when dudes stare either.