Hiccups? Here, Try This Bullet!

Sometimes friends do really dickish things. They will eat all your cereal, show up without calling first, or shoot you in the face to cure your hiccups. Wait. What?! As my friend Dashuh said “At least he doesn't have hiccups anymore. Good to know what works. Not the best way to stop them but effective.” Which is true. But I think I’d rather have someone tell me to hold my breath or jump from behind a corner to cure my hiccups.

Pfc. Patrick Edward Myers who is 27 is now gonna be charged with manslaughter and if his ass is convicted, which he likely will be, to 20 years in prison for shooting his friend in the face to cure his hiccups. He and two other friends, also in the military, were drinking and watching football. Myers probably thought “This will be super funny!” and put a gun that he figured was unloaded because as we all know we make the best life decisions when drunk and shot his friend in the face. Police showed up and said “Yep. He dead.”

Could you imagine being 22 years old and dead because of some shit like this? The victim was only 22 and at that age you don’t know shit. Especially about friends. Think of how many close friends or relationships you have now that started at 22. And now you’re dead because your friend doesn’t know how to 1. Cure hiccups and 2. Prank properly.

Prank achieved. Proceed to next level.

I hate pranks and I don’t pull them on people. I like watching other people get the shit scared out of them like in this video but I don’t want to be on the giving or receiving end of it. My reflex is to hurt first and investigate the situation later. You jump out at me I will probably kick you in the throat. This girl in junior high jumped on my back once and she got judo flipped into the dirt. I didn’t know who it was until I saw the look of shock on her face as she headed to the ground. If I have hiccups I’d rather hear a boo than a bang. I don’t wanna be a confused ass ghost.