Best Christmas Gifts Of Dante's Childhood

I was looking through my blogs for Christmas things I had written about and discovered that my negative ass had never made a list of toys that were my favorite as a kid. I had done one of the worst toys (click here to read that) but not the things I got that made me dance like an idiot when I opened them.

It took me a minute to figure out which ones to choose since there were a bunch. With these I am going based on the shock factor involved and how much excitement I had after getting it. Like, I can't use when I got a Nintendo as a choice since that required so much pain with dealing with getting a crumby ass Sega first. So allow me to present to you Best Christmas Gifts Of Dante's Childhood!

Michael Jackson Thriller Doll

This is something I didn't even ask for but was so happy when I got it...even though I didn't get to actually watch Thriller until I was in my 20's. Yeah, I knew what Thriller was and for sure was a huge Michael Jackson fan. But we would not have cable (Select and On when I was a kid) so I'd miss chunks of 1980's and regular things everyone else grew up with like John Hughes films. I got this version of MJ and my brother got the Grammy version. I remember opening these up and just going fucking insane. This was probably one of three times I'd ever hugged my mother in my life. Don't ask me what happened to it because I can't or the life of me recall.

Drawing Board

When I was about 12 one Christmas my brother Kevin kicked open my door on Christmas and shoved a huge box into the room. It was a drawing board! I lost my mind. I had been drawing since I was about 4 and he was the reason why. I wanted to be better than him at it. No one in my house supported my “muscle men” as my mother called them so when he gave me this I put it together and started drawing immediately.

There it is in the back. 

He also threw a huge box full of supplies at me. It was filled with every pen, pencil, and colors that I would need. I kept most of these things for years but had to retire the drawing board after the screws were stripped. This is a message for all the people that say I am hard to shop for: just talk to me for five minutes. You'll see how easy I am to shop for. I like practical.

Thunderpunch He-Man

Speaking of practical, this isn't. But I loved this toy so much! I got this and blew right through the caps that came with it. There were about a dozen punches he could throw before you were finished and looked around like, “Uh...are there more?” Nope. Even though it was now half the toy it was minutes later it being a He-Man meant that it was still a hundred times better than most any other toy.

Skateboard

(not actual skateboard...or me.)

This one I found before Christmas morning. One day my mother asked me to grab something from the closet and when I went in there I tripped and fell on my skateboard. This was a few days before Christmas and I had to conceal my joy as I lay on piles of shoes and filthy clothes. Sounds like the day I lost my virginity. But not close at the same time. This skateboard brought me so much joy and pain. Its the reason I knocked out a bunch of teeth and scraped so much skin off my body. But still...awesome gift.

Smurf Radio

Funny how getting a Smurf bike can be on the worst gift list but getting a Smurf radio was awesome. This was cool because this was my first radio ever. This was in the early 80's where most people had boom boxes and there was no way I was gonna get my own. So when I opened this up the first thing I did was put on KDAY and jam. I can't remember what happened to this toy either. I'm sure the batteries died and after recharging them in the freezer for the hundredth time and I just lost track of it.