Five Things I Learned In 2013...Kinda

It is the end of another year and I have managed to live. Not only have I lived but I learned a few more things about myself and humanity in general. 2013 was a year that flew by at the end but the beginning was very slow. I enjoyed the beginning of this year. The middle got ridiculous as hell and this ending is managing to cram in as much nonsense as possible. This isn't going to be a Five Things I Learned as much as it is a Five Things I Learned To Do/Don't Do. Ha. Do-do. I have enlisted the help of Bad Ass Mofo Steve Buscemi to help me with this.

Do: Collaborate.

This year I finally started having my own stories published. It took being mad at work and Kiyoshi getting to me at the perfect moment for it to happen. (click here to see where to order my stuff!) I was talking to Camille a few days ago about the problem I have working with other people. They propose an idea, I get on board, and then they lose interest or worse don't even begin. Folks tell me that people get busy, have lives, kids, whatever. I say don't bring it up in the first place then. Kiyoshi did exactly what he said he would and got this stuff formatted and online for me and even if I don't sell a single story I can say that its been done. And that makes me happy. Its so nice to have people working towards the same thing as you.

Don't: Accept Every Collaboration.

I know it sounds like I am beating a dead horse but...what an awful analogy. Is dead horse beating a thing that happened so often that people had to be told “Look, dude. That horse is dead. Stop hitting it”? Anyhoot, it is such a disheartening feeling to have someone seem like they are all in when it comes to working with you on something creatively and then floundering like a mofo. I began and ended that sentence with two words that don't exist. I had to learn not to believe that people were as invested in something as much as I was and just do it myself. That is how my Dante Rants site was created. I can only sit around with my thumb up my ass for so long waiting for someone to work with me. Trust me. It hurts. I have long thumbs.

Do: Like Women.

This year I had a girlfriend. For a while it was awesome. Yeah, she lived far but I was able to make the journey to see her a few times and had her come to see me. But like with most relationships I have had I wasn't changing fast enough and things quickly went down the shitter. I'm one of fewmen that can catch hell for wanting to talk more. Liking women and even being in love is awesome. You love someone, they love you back, if you're lucky they touch your junk. It's groovy. I enjoy being in love. I think women are amazing, particularly if they like me.

Don't: Fall In Love.

But on the flip-side I hate breaking up with people because I have only one ex that I can talk to like a normal person. Since my breakup I started liking someone else and even she isn't 100% about my ass. So me being me I have decided that it is cool to like someone, but to no longer pursue a relationship. There is just something about me (seriously, pick anything) that attracts women that like me but want me to be another version of me. A version of me that may be inside of me right now but probably needs a few more years to evolve. But fuck that. People want it right now and want me to respond the way 5 years from now Dante may respond. Can't do that. If some chick ends up liking this version of me and doesn't want to transform me into possible Dante years from now or will never be, then that's cool. Until then my ass is alone.

Do: Be Nicer.

I hold open doors. I help old people on and off the bus. I pay for meals. Gas. I try to be as helpful with friends as much as I can even if that mans helping them move two times and then they turn around and write Facebook posts about me talking mad shit. But there's always a part of me that tells me that I can be nicer. I know that part of this is because I have trouble trying to figure out whether I am a nice person that thinks horrible thoughts or if I am a horrible person that is doing nice things sometimes. Either way, I think I am still nicer than the average guy...which isn't hard. Most guys are assholes. That wasn't very nice.

Don't: Be Too Nice.

And here is where the problem lies. It isn't until I stop talking to someone and I look back at the friendship/relationship and see that I gave far too much in terms of time, money, and energy. I don't ask for much from people besides their attention when I am talking and a ride with them. There are people (mostly were since I have been dropping people like a bad habit this year) who decide to contact me when everyone else is busy or if they want to complain. This has gotten old and needs to end. Just because my hobbies require me sitting on my ass doesn't mean that they aren't important to me or that I'm not working towards something. Strange thing is that people tell me to get out the house and when I do they get upset I'm not around. I am not an inexhaustible resource. One day my ass will not be around. Please attempt to treat me with the same amount of respect that I treat you with.

Do: Continue To Ask Questions.

My mother used to refer to me as a cowbell or bell clapper when I was little because she said I talked too much which confused some people because they would never hear me speak. I have always asked questions. Now its easier because of the internet. I can ask whatever I want and go to multiple sources and either get the answer or at the very least set on the right path towards it. As for anyone that uses lines like “Where did you learn that? The internet?” Yes. Same as you.

Don't: Get Into Debates.

Everyone has motives. When people get into debates their main purpose is to change one view to another. I don't really get into debates. Lie. I debate about Batman and nerd related shit. But there are some people that I encountered this past year more than many others that felt like coming at me with the opposite view about things in the hopes of changing my mind. Do you really want me on your team? No. You don't. You just want to be right about something.

Do: Stay In Touch With Friends.

I managed to stay in pretty good contact with the three people I consider very close friends and that was awesome considering how many people I was talking to earlier this year and now don't talk to and have blocked on my Facebook page. Why? Because life, that's why. At this point I am honestly finding it harder to make new friends. I'm not like most people. I have the whole Social Asperger's thing going. I actually like staying home. I would rather iron clothes than go trolling for chicks. I can go years without sex. There's more strange shit but I share that on my Rosscast Show. I did make one new friend this year and she's pretty cool. So I think I am set for the next three years or so. Yay!

Don't: Get A Cell Phone.

I wanna see how long I can ride this out. I understand how useful cell phone can be. You can order cabs with pink mustaches, stalk your children, and snoop on your lover. All good things. But I see more bad than good when it comes to cell phone use. It gives people an excuse to be late. I was talking to one of my new friends of the year about how people seem to think “Well, because I can let them know that I am running late because I was checking random shit on my phone and it made me late!” No. You just have no respect for people's time. Stop that.

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