Kids These Days 32

This is gonna be one of those posts where you either shake your head in shame at me or just laugh and go “Oh, that Dante!” This 34 year old chick in Arizona named Keri Gonzalez was busted for boning this 15 year old kid whose name has not been released but who I shall refer to as “Champ” for the rest of this post because jealousy. Full disclosure, I know how bad this whole story sounds. Adults having sex with teenagers is a terrible thing. Of course. But...I used to be a 15 year old boy at some point and if a 34 year old woman made a move on me chances are I would've jumped her. Hell, if a 34 year old tried it now I would...

Nope!

So Champ and Keri were bumping uglies when the boy's mother heard “knocking sounds by the stairs on the wall” and went to check on her kid around 2 in the morning. If you are having sex at that time of the morning its either an awesome surprise, sloppy and drunk, or a police report waiting to happen. The mother tried to open the door and it was locked. When Champ finally opened the door, lord knows why he did that!, mom saw Keri crouched in the corner butt booty ass naked. Keri decided to bail when mom started shouting and ended up breaking her ankle jumping from the window.

A way cuter version of actual events.

After jacking her ankle up she showed up again because she's a glutton for punishment and told the mother that she was hurt. At this time the mother realized that she recognized the woman as a friend of a friend that was flirting with her son previously. She wanted the teenage D. She was busted by cops for providing false information to police and sexual misconduct with a minor.

Usually in cases like this its a cell phone or a loudmouth friend that ruin the sexy time. And this woman does not look like someone I would want to add to the list of women I have had sex with. She doesn't look...clean. Have I had worse than her? Yes. God knows I have. I'd like to think that even at 15 I would've been like “Uh...I think I'll pass.” But at that age there were women I would've loved to disappoint with my sexual prowess.

Just...no. 

Keri has gotten drunk with Champ and they had sex two times before they were caught. I bet Keri was getting buck wild which chicks always wanna do when it is the time to do the complete opposite. Parents in the other room, backseat of a car, movie theater, and beach they wanna get loud when they can get caught. Only one of those situations has not happened to me. If you are getting some stank on your hang low and every single aspect of it is illegal you may wanna just fuck on the floor. Just saying. Or do it quietly. There's no need to be making noise at 2am. Fucking kids these days. Literally!

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