Women Don't Fight Fair 4

This 58 year old lady named Maria Montenez-Colon in Punta Gorda, Florida (my spell check hates so much of that first sentence) asked a cop to give her some ass. Yeah. That happened. If I was a cop I'm sure that most of my time would be split between beating the shit out of bad guys and hiding the bodies or having sex. But not with this woman. I'm never that horny. Ever.

She called the police because she wanted her Corvette that she had signed over to her stepson back. No take-backsies! The cop that showed up said that she was all kinds of drunk and asked him if he were married. He warned her that she was using 911 wrong and handed her his card. Foul. He knows he was wrong or doing that.

Want some?

She called 911 again less than an hour later because she wanted the same cop to come back to her house and go Rodney King on her vagina. I made that last part up because it made me laugh. She told him things like “I haven't been penetrated in years” and “I am so horny.” When they tried to get her back on the subject she said “You can fuck me.”

Kill it! Kill it with fire!

She told the 911 operator that the policeman that showed up was “a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to fuck me, he turned me down so that made me angry.” She was asked if she recalled the conversation about using 911 wrong and she said “I do, but how else am I going to get you to fuck me?” She was arrested for misusing 911 and locked up with her nasty ass.  

This woman knows better than to pull this shit. I mean look at her. She probably thought she was being cute. Answered the door wearing her sexiest moo-moo and doused in White Diamonds. She couldn't understand why the cop didn't want a slice of her cake. Now that she's in jail she is like Rorschach in The Watchmen. “None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with me!”

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