Captain America Dick Pics

When Captain America shows his might diiiiiick, all those that look at his dick get siiiiiick! James Weldon Alton, 29, of Florida who spends his time working at Universal Studios decided that sending dick pics to a 16 year old girl would be a good idea and got his dumb ass arrested. He got a felony charge of transmitting harmful material to a minor. He trolled the internet for pictures of himself and saw this girl and got in touch with her. The girl told police that they started as friends and like most friends he decided to send her a picture of his Winter Soldier. Hey. Don't judge. That's what good friends do. But not when your friend is 16 and you're 29 and dress as Captain America for a living! After she told him that she was 16 he still decided that sending pictures was a good idea and sent text talking about jacking off and that he was “getting into her.” Her dad found out about his HYDRA after talking to his daughter. Could you imagine Cap getting his ass handed to him by an angry father? I think we just wrote the next film!

What's red, white, blue, and needs a shield? This guys dick if I were this girl's dad. Cops asked Alton why he kept doing nasty shit after finding out she was 16 and he said that he “chose to disregard this because at times he thought it was a joke or that it was all just merely an online flirtatious relationship.” Yeah. That's how chicks flirt nowadays. By pretending they aren't legal. That's the oldest trick in the book. Which book? The “How To End Up In Jail Crying Into Your Hands” book. After checking his Instagram police saw that he had commented on two other young girl's pages. This loser just sits around hunting for pictures of himself so he can later send pictures of his Agent Of SHIELD. I can do these jokes all day. Alton has been suspended by Universal Studios after his arrest. Not fired? Anyone that sends pictures of their Red Skull to young girls needs to be in more trouble than that.