Five Things I Learned Being Tall

I'm 6 foot 1...when I stand up straight. When I get called big or tall it takes me a moment to register this fact. Even at my age I have not accepted this height and I sure as hell don't really use it to my advantage. I don't play sports for shit and all my activities I enjoy can be done by someone with no lower half. Its something I wanted just to beat up my brother and father but other than that there's really no reason for me to be this height. I could stand to lose a few inches and I'd be fine with it while there are millions of men and women who want to be bigger than they are.

In this Five Things I Learned Being Tall I'm gonna go over the pros and cons of being four inches taller than the average American male height...and longer in others. Hi-yo! I know there are some people that will read this and think that its bullshit to complain about being tall. Just bear with me as I explain some of this stuff because it just may make you appreciate whatever height that you are. Or not. Whatever. I don't take advantage of my height. I don't play any sports and I don't use my size to intimidate anyone. This is a waste on me. And, yeah, there are people taller than me but I don't know where their blogs are. Let me bitch in peace!

I Can Reach Things

When I started growing it was weird because it was very sudden. I grew three inches over one summer and though that may not seem like a lot to some, find something in your house that is three inches tall and stand on top of it. Notice the difference? Except for me this was permanent and I kept on going. All of a sudden the ground is further away than it used to be and I felt like I was walking around on stilts. I never expected to be tall (I do not have a tall family) so this all caught me off guard.

Once I kinda got used to being in this new mutant body I realized that I could now reach things I had to stand on my toes for. The top of the fridge was easy to get to...and filthy. That's another thing you start to notice. You begin to spot how dirty things are that people normally don't get to see. The combination of having arms longer than they should be as well as fingers means that I will never lose a game of Hot Hands.

You Get Asked To Reach Things

Welcome to the world of reaching for things for folks! I have to admit this is fun at first. Stuff that you used to have to get a ladder for or worse climb on the counter to get are now just a stretch away. And sometimes a pulled muscle. People who are tall rarely have to use all their height particularly me. I hate stretching. Sometimes you can reach shit you didn't think you could. I pulled a parking slip off the dashboard of a car the other day without even having to lean forward. That was nice but made me very aware that I have arms that are too long for my body. Three inches too long if you wanna know. One of the most embarrassing things is actually being able t reach something and then realizing that its heavy as shit. Height does not equal power.

Bumping Your Head Is The New Danger

This took some serious getting used to. I was accustomed to being able to squeeze between things. Ducking was something mutants that were too tall for this time period had to deal with. Now that I was one of them I had to start lowering my head to clear things. Banging my head on cabinets was something brand new and exciting. How many concussions were caused just in the kitchen? Who knows?! My glasses don't help in this new world of height either.

Mind you, I spent most of my life small, accepted this fate, and was thrust into this strange new world. My glasses make the world appear smaller than it is so I tend to duck down at the last moment. I will see other people coming towards me in the street and laugh because they look all lanky only to pass them and realize that they are inches shorter than me. Shit.

Buying New Clothes Sucks

Never mind the whole buying shoes problem. My brother warned me when my feet were growing faster than my body that I needed to stop at size 12 as if I had control over it. Honestly, by that point I wanted to be taller to whip all the ass. I reached size 13 and every pair of shoes in that size looked like something a child would play in. Till this day I laugh when I see my shoes on the floor only to sadly realize that they fit me like a glove.

As for clothes, when you grow you don't always grow equally. My hands have been large since I was a child. My feet started matching my grade once I was 10 years old (size 5 for 5th grade, size 9 for 9th grade and so on). My legs aren't particularly long but I got a lot of torso and wide ass shoulders. I like my shoulders fine but they force me to get shirts that are bigger than I need. In a fair world I'd were large but in reality I have to buy XL unless I wanna Hulk out of my clothes. At Old Navy I have to get XXL because sometimes I just don't feel fat enough.

Short People Want What You Got

When I was short I wanted height until I got it. My favorite height was 5'9” because of clothes and the fact that I was already taller than most people in my family and school. I have friends that are shorter than me that wish they were taller and I can sit here and complain about being tall and it'll fall on deaf ears. Short people don't want to hear any bitching about feeling too tall! I feel the same way about this as when I see people wearing glasses that don't need them. Its a grass is greener on the other side situation.

There are times when being tall is a good thing. When you play sports for instance. Also, if you're a tall girl you live in hell. Most guys are short nowadays and you can not wear those heels you bought. I had an ex that loved that I was my height since she was 5'8” and had three inch heels. You can also be asked if you're a model or want to be one or if you play basketball which is a sly way of asking if you're a lesbian. You should see the look of disgust I get when I tell people I don't play basketball. I am wasting my height and am fully aware of it. No matter what height you are you should just like it. At least you can buy clothes that fit and aren't in constant danger of having your head concussed.

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