Inspirational Quotes Are The Worse

I'm that guy that hates inspirational quotes. I can't just look at one, nod, smile, and move on. I start to analyze the quote, judge who it came from, and find out what else they said or did with their life. By the time I'm done I can't even remember where I started. I just know that I'm now annoyed.

I think my issue started when I was younger. I would hear someone tell another human that was going through some rough shit that God had a plan for them and not to worry or be sad about it. I would be like “Wow, what did you do to piss God off and what can I do to avoid it?!” Telling someone that God has a plan for them is not helpful. Not only is it not helpful its presumptuous. Maybe God is busy with other things and forgot about your nonsense. Like Korean Jesus.

Then there are the quotes from famous fuck ups. Now, as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe was we know her tale. Hot woman that was terribly sad that overdosed on drugs after many failed relationships. But every once in a while she said something really clever and that's all people remember her for. Well, that and the Kennedy's. If anyone you knew lived like her you would stop talking to them.

So when I see a quote from her it just tells me to not do what she has done. She lived a life of pain. And speaking of pain, those quotes make me more upset than anything else. They're the worse. I've never been someone that has to feel bad to appreciate good or have something taken away to cherish it. I like things when I like them and being crippled by something won't make me wish for what I had. Guess who said this quote. I'll tell you at the end.

“Pain's not bad, it's good. It teaches you things. I understand that.”

I see people talk about some medical issue or other and people will start bombarding them with quotes they heard. Its easier and faster than just calling them and telling them what you actually have to say. “But I can't think of what to say” someone just said. Know what? Then you shut up and give them a hug. My response to bad shit is usually “Well, that sucks.” If you tell me how broke you are I'll either give you what I can or see what can be done to help. I won't say “You know what? This will make you stronger later.”

Sometimes there is no later. I know that these quotes are about giving people hope, but sometimes that blind hope brought on by the wrong quote from the right person can be dangerous. Its like that “If a dog chases you don't run” shit. I've been chased by dogs. Guess what I did: ran my fat little ass off. I sure as hell didn't think that a dog bite would make me stronger.

I would love for people to be more original. I post a quote if it is funny or from a song. Its never directed at my friends in place of my actual feelings about what they're going through. Just see what happens when you actually tell someone something that comes from you. I'm fully aware that we live in a world where no one uses their phone to talk and would rather send a frowny face when someone says their father died than to call and hear how their friend is feeling. Its shitty but its the world we live in.

And that pain quote was from population controller Charles Manson.