Jared Diet Drives Man To Crime

Some people get more upset about their Subway sandwiches than I do. Zachary Torrance who is 18 going on Lunacy robbed four different Subway locations in Alabama. He is allegedly upset that the Jared Diet didn't work for him and decided that he was gonna get him back by stealing from the stores. He is locked up with $250,000 bond which means if his ass wants to be free anytime soon he'll have to rob a lot more stores. I hope he was kidding about the motive he gave cops for arresting him. I also hope he isn't actually 18 years old because, my god, he looks rough. This is the face I wish I could have if I ever went to prison. No one is trying to touch this guys booty. 

Also, if anyone believes that Jared Diet they must be rich because Subway ain't cheap and they make ugly sammiches. At least near me they do. Using  fast food place as either your diet or primary source of weight loss is never a good idea. Wonder how long he was even on the diet before he said “Fuck it. Not working. Gotta commit some crime.” Since he is young I am gonna guess two weeks. I know how easily these young folks give up when handed some kinda challenge.