This Nasty Sumbitch

My cousin tagged me in a post about this story. Not sure if that makes me a bad person or her. Either way, no matter what I do for the rest of my life I'll never be as bad as Georgia resident 26 year old Domonique Smith. At first he was arrested for stealing a bike because, well, some people miss the 1980's. Then a burglary was reported in Monday morning and they found out that Smith had been riding things other than a stolen bike. He had banged a body in a funeral home. The name of the dead woman that he had sex with has not been released but the family was notified. Know what? I wouldn't want to know. I don't need that phone call from the police. 

There is video evidence that shows that Smith was there between 7pm and 7am. The funeral home, Hill Watson Peoples Funeral Service, doesn't want to talk about this for reasons. What is also bad is that this kind of thing is extremely rare in Muscogee County. Not impossible or unheard of. But extremely rare. The funeral director, Cedric Hill, did say “We hold our families dear. We look for the best protection and security for the families we have served in this community for 65 years.” Turns out Smith was holding someone dear as well. He is being held on $20,000 bond and if he is convicted he can get one to 10 years in prison. 

That's it?! I thought corpse fucking could get you life! There's no rehab strong enough for some shit like that. Can you imagine dating someone, getting to know them well, and having them spring that shit on you? 

“Yeah, so, uh, babe? Years ago...I don't know what I was thinking. I, uh, I was living a hard life and didn't have no place to go. So I stole a bike. No, I'm not done. So, yeah. After I stole the bike I broke into a funeral home. Oh, no. I didn't steal nothing. I, uh, well...shit. This is hard. I...yeah. I fucked a corpse. It was a woman if that makes you feel any better. I know I sure do! We still on for later tonight?”