Monday, April 20, 2015

Kids These Days 52

I was talking to a few friends recently about certain things you don't see anymore and when you do you go “Wow, that used to be way common when I was a kid!” In this Kids These Days I wanted to talk about medical stuff that just disappeared for some reason. Not things like polio, leprosy, and measles. But just things that used to be common, some of you may have had them, but you don't see any more.

Neck Braces. Can someone explain to me what happened to this? When I was a kid I saw quite a few people wearing them and even got to wear one. No, I didn't need to wear it but it was fun. Someone had gotten a whiplash and had to wear it so I put it on for fun. But when I was a kid I saw these all the time on TV and in real life. Sometime in the early 90's I'd say they just vanished. Is there some strange ass landfill just full of these? 

Maybe people just have stronger necks than they used to. I'd love to walk into a place wearing one of these just to see the look on people's faces today. I'd probably get some high-fives. Kids would think I had some new version of those dealie bobs people wear on airplanes. And they'd believe it. Kids are stupid.

Casts. When I was little I knew quite a few people that had a cast. I have never had the chance to sign one which makes me feel kind of ripped off. Casts seemed like having your tonsils removed: a thing that had to happen at some point in your childhood. 

I know they have those casts that have colors and stuff on them so they don't look as janky as they did back in the day. But it really seems like bones aren't as broken as easily as they once were. I honestly wonder why more of these aren't seen considering how dangerously people drive and how there are lawsuit commercials on all day when I'm home. I just want someone to ask me to sign their cast.

Crutches. I saw someone on crutches a few weeks ago and did a double take. I could not remember the last time outside of working at the hospital that I'd seen someone on for reals crutches. I have seen the things that they give people with broken bones now that are inflatable or a huge ass black brace so you can walk around looking like Frankenstein. 

It used to be if you broke your leg you'd just work less. You would stay the hell off of your feet and actually try to get better but that's not how the world works anymore. Even if your leg is literally broken you have to keep on going. That's not something to be proud of. That's just sad. We won't even give ourselves a chance to get better...better.

Band-Aids. A couple of days ago I cut my finger. Well, I jabbed a tack into my finger while hammering Perler beads into my wall. It got me to thinking about Band-Aids. I usually have them in my house more out of habit than anything else. When I was bleeding I didn't even think to reach for one of my old ass Band Aids that no longer stick to skin. When I was younger I saw and used them a lot. This leads me to believe that either folks don't get cut anymore or that everyone is walking around with open wounds on their hands and legs. Yes, legs. I used to cut my legs a lot. How much do Band Aids even cost today? Just checked. $6.99 for a pack of those good fabric ones which my family never got. We got those busted ass plastic “skin” colored ones. Yeah. It was my skin color by the end of the day when it got all kinds of filthy.

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