New Hamburglar

I don't know who this asshole is, but I don't trust him. McDonald's released their image of the new Hamburglar and thank god he isn't Black. They released a new commercial for this guy that shows him in the backyard with his wife and son making burgers and he finds out that some new burger is coming out and he seems to suffer some form of PTSD and whispers “Robble, robble...” That burger he is holding isn't even something that place makes. I have eaten almost every burger that places makes and he is holding a lit. 

McDonald's has been updating their stuff the last few years. They changed the way Ronald McDonald looks and then they went too far and got a mascot for the Happy Meal that looks like something that would make you shit backwards if you saw it in your home. I'm not comfortable with change. New things make me nervous. This guy looks like someone at a Kanye West fashion show. For real. Look it up.

I like the old Hamburglar. Just some weird ass redhead guy of indeterminable age. Is it a strange ass teenager or a creepy ass old man? I don't know. But I like him. He did for people with rings around their eyes what Grimace did for fat people wearing purple. Shut up. You know you laughed. 

I doubt that anyone is going to change their mind about McDonald's based on what their mascot looks like. If someone is on the fence and now thinks “Oh, I don't like that place because their food tastes like what food would be if a 5 year old made it. But that new Hamburglar has got me rethinking my choices” then you are dealing with a crazy person. Sometimes new mascots works. Burger King made me afraid to go there while Jack In The Box adding Jack made everyone forget that people died from too much shit being in their patties. That is for real too. Look it up.