Rachel Dolezal Catfishes Reality

Here's a Black woman wearing a green shirt! This Rachel Dolezal story is everywhere and is entertaining as all hell. I know that this is a serious issue and whatnot, but, come on. This is the plot out of an 80's film. Soul Man to be exact. Yeah. Google that shit and you will laugh, be offended, share it with a friend, then forget you learned about it from me. Selfish bastard. 37 year old Rachel has been outed as a White woman that has been passing herself off as Black for about seven years. She released a statement saying she will make a statement. Yeah. That's a thing that folks do now.

She says she was born in a teepee in Montana and lived in South Africa where her parents hit her and her siblings using a whip used to chase baboons. “They were pretty similar to what was used as whips during slavery.” I just heard someone say “...the fuck?” She says she was raped. Also, an ex husband used to beat her and her son. No reports of any of this is anywhere to be found. She claimed one of her adopted brothers as her son.

“As you probably know by now, there are questions and assumptions swirling in national and global news about my family, my race, my credibility, and the NAACP. I have discussed the situation, including personal matters, with the Executive Committee. I support their decision to wait until Monday to make a statement. The Executive team asked that I also release my response statement at the same time, which will be during the 7-9 p.m. monthly membership meeting.”

Rachel is an artist and activist that has been working as the president of the NAACP in Spokane, Washington. Her parents are the ones that told the public that their daughter was White. Not Black. Not half native American. Plain ass White. Czech and German White which isn't, like, a thing. I don't like saying White when I know where someone is from. 

Ruthanne and Larry Dolezal were asked about a photo of Rachel with a Black man and her parents were all “Enough of this shit. Here she is as a kid.” Next thing you know her cover is totally blown, she has to answer a bunch of questions, and have a blog post written by some random ass Black guy about her. Or am I pretending...?

They produced a picture of her as a kid and I'm sure there are thousands of people that looked another race as a kid but this chick is not one of them. She has been pretending to be Black. When she was asked during an interview if she were Black and being confronted with a picture of a Black man she claimed was her dad she said “ I don't understand the question of -- I did tell you that, yes, that's my dad. And he was unable to come in January.” Then she hid. I'm not shitbulling you. She hid in a store.

Another time when she was asked about her race she said “That question is not as easy as it seems. There's a lot of complexities...and I don't know that everyone would understand that. We're all from the African continent.” Now that's some technicality for your ass! You ask me if I'm Black I'll say either “Yes, Stevie Wonder” or “We all Black when the lights out, baby. Now cut your bullshit. Its time to shame our ancestors!”

The multiple hate crimes that she has reported like having a noose left at her home have been dropped by police because they don't have time for her nonsense. Too busy beating real Black people. Though they are checking whether she lied when applying for the police board. When asked about the multiple hate crimes against her being fake she said “That’s such bullshit. What mother would terrorize her own children?” Correct. A crazy one. Now, to this lady's credit she has done a lot of good work. Besides being the president of her local NAACP chapter she worked as a spokeswoman on race based police violence. She was even with Marilyn Mosby who filed charges against the police after the death of Freddie Gray.

She's an academic expert on African American culture and teaches classes at Eastern Washington University as well as courses in The Black Woman's Struggle, African and African American Art History, African History, African American Culture, and Intro to Africana Studies . The mayor of Spokane made her the chairwoman of a committee that keeps tabs on police. This woman has out-Blacked most of the Black people I know. For shame! NAACP, regional president Gerald Hankerson said they accept people from all ethnicities and the organization “doesn't do a genealogy search on what a person's ethnicity is.”

Her adopted Black brother Ezra Dolozal (the family adopted a few) said “She told me not to blow her cover about the fact that she had this secret life or alternate identity. She told not to tell anybody about Montana or her family over there. She said she was starting a new life and this one person over there was actually going to be her black father.” He even told an interviewer that what she was doing was “basically blackface.” 

A week ago this picture was probably considered honorable.

Her other brother Izahiah left the Dolezal family back in 2010 saying the physically punished him and had sent his brother and sister away because they didn't follow the religious rules. Damn. The fact that all these kids were home-schooled (yeah, I went there) combined with the super religion are a bad ass mix.

This is a crazy ass story. You can want to be another race all you want but to lie about it to everyone and try to get your own family on board with your life is pretty fucked up. Is she a good worker? Obviously. No denying that. But...something is also really wrong with this woman. You do not go that deep into the rabbit hole without issues. This lady got a subscription! She likes the Black culture more than most Black people do and good for her. Its cool to be into things. But come on with the come on. Its too much work doing the hair like that, the tanning, and the dodging of questions. You can walk up to someone and ask them what race they are and they don't have to tell you. But when you present yourself as Black, pretend you're Black, and deny your real family its pretty fucking weird. At least change your name or something. Don't have a story that's so flimsy that a single photo can bring it all crashing down.

And in case you're wondering, yes, she married a Black guy.