Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Post: S1E1


The Booth

“Twelve contestants. One prize. Two million dollars. And all they have to do is survive...The Gulag! Created with the world's worst prisons in mind. Attica. Montelupich. Black Dolphin. Pelican Bay. Riker's. Alcatraz. Penal del Altiplano. Kumla. C Max. Goulburn. None compare to The Gulag! These twelve 'inmates' will endure solitary confinement, starvation, and possibly assault for the chance to walk away a millionaire. Each week one 'inmate' will be named Warden. But with great power comes great chances of...betrayal! Abandon all hope ye who enter here! The Gulag!”

“Wow” Drummond said as he stepped away from the microphone. He was known as one of the best voice over artists for the past fifteen years and never in all that time had he heard of a show like this. “Is this legal?”

“Not my concern” Mikey said from the audio booth. “Can we do it one more time? I got a bit of pitch during-”

“I do not pitch” Drummond said. Mikey held his hands up and pushed himself away from the control panel with his feet.

“Shit” Mikey said as his phone beeped. “Sue.”

“And...?”

“She has some changes. One second” Mikey sighed as the printer next to him spat out three sheets of notes. “Jesus Christ...” he said as he opened the door and handed them to Drummond. “They changed everything.”

“Are you ready?” Drummond asked.

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You said that last time and...”

“I'm sure, okay?!” Mikey shouted, slapping his cup of most likely alcohol off the small tray that held far more than it was intended when built.

“For the next thirty days ten people from all across America will battle for a chance to win one million...wait.”

“What?” Mikey asked, rubbing his temples.

“I'm not feeling it.”

“It's fine.”

“I don't want fine. I want perfect.”

“It was perfect.”

“For the next thirty days ten people from all across America will battle for a chance to win...damn it. It doesn't sound right. It doesn't have that...you know.”

“No. I don't. That's why I'm here and you're there.”

“I'm not sure if you're insulting me or not. Who wrote this anyway?”

“Sue.”

“Oh. Right. Okay. I'll try it again. You ready? Of course you are. For the next thirty days ten people from all across America will battle for...okay. No. I know what's wrong. Just let me change things up a bit.”

“Sue will not appreciate that.”

“It's fine, it's fine.” Drummond loudly clears his throat. “For the next thirty days ten people from all across this great land of ours will battle for a chance to win...”

“Wait.”

That was perfect!”

“This is gonna air across the globe. Isn't saying 'this great land of ours' offensive?”

“To who? “

“You're right. I'm wrong. Never mind. Continue.”

“Thank you. For the next thirty days ten people from all across this great land of ours will battle for a chance to win one million dollars in cash. There will be blood. Sweat. And of course...tears. Wow. That sounds...

“Sue.”

“Right. For the next thirty days ten people from all across America will battle for a chance to win one million dollars. There will be blood. Sweat. And of course...tears. Welcome to...THE BLOCK. These ten contestants will be put through a series of obstacles gathered from the world's most dangerous prisons. Riker's Island. Petak Island Prison. Pelican Bay. La Sabaneta. And of course...Alcatraz. No TV. No phones. No escape. Each week the 'inmates' will fight for the opportunity to make receive a phone call from a family member or a conjugal visit. This is...THE BLOCK.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.”

“Is this even legal?”

“Ask the censors.”

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