Are You Addicted To Porn?

Are you addicted to porn? This is a question I asked myself after watching an interview and reading some articles. Spoiler alert: no. I'm not. To me porn is something I use like dental floss. I don't do it every day but when I do I feel better and ask myself why I don't do it more often. Recently the actor Terry Crews was on Dr. Phil's show with his wife Rebecca King-Crews and they discussed what happened when she found out about his porn addiction. Oh. And prostitution. They buried the lead with that one. They and other writers have talked more about his porn addiction than the fact that he was using ladies of the night while married with five children.

After telling Terry that he would be paying child support for her and her new man she added “I said to him 'you know we're done right...yes I'm gonna leave your raggedy behind and I'm gonna take your money too. You gone pay me child support for me and my new man.” After a round of applause from the audience Terry added “Guys operate on pride. And you're successful you feel like that buys you a pass. I did not go to rehab to get my wife back. I went there because I needed to be a better person.” Rebecca stated that it took close to three years before she could trust Terry again. Likely meaning give up them draws which is why a lot of guys tend to cheat on their wives. The whole lack of draws getting. It's a vicious cycle!

I'm not giving Terry a pass on the prostitution stuff. That is a super shitty thing to do. I'd rather my spouse fuck someone I knew before heading to the streets for some strange. I do not want you bringing some shit they may have to name after me into the bedroom. But the porn addiction? Depends on how much you are watching and why. Terry said “It got bad. If day turns into night and you are still watching, you've probably got a problem, and that was me.”

Yeah. That is a problem.

I found a list of questions to ask yourself to gauge (I sadly spelled that word the way a porn actress does) whether or not you had a porn addiction as well as some questions. One the scale of a score between 0-27 I scored a 1. I was being 100% honest in that shit too. Just to give an example, the first question they ask is if I spend more than “11 hours a week viewing porn.” Damn, that is a lot of time! Maybe I am watching porn wrong. I didn't know that I was supposed to just sit there and wait for a story to develop. I guess? I know what I like and it does not take me long to find it. I just type in Angelina Castro and minutes later it is safe for me to be in society.

Here is a list of other questions another site asked. By the way, when I searched up “porn addiction” the images below are what popped up. I guess men like jerking off in the dark and women just never do it. Come on, ladies! Catch up!

Increased Amount of Time Spent Watching Porn

“Be aware of the amount of time spent watching porn. A couple times a week for 30 minutes or so is nothing to be scared of. However, if you are finding that hours or even days are flying by while absorbed in porn, this is a sign that your porn habits are becoming a problem.”

30 minutes is such a long time to be watching people fuggin'. In real life it can be fun but that involves whiskey and someone that feels like making strange life decisions by boning me. I think if you are spending 30 minutes looking at porn that maybe you just haven't found the right kind. As a dude that likes chicks and hates other men's balls may I suggest the POV or gloryhole category? By the way, in real life I would never try a gloryhole. The day I feel bristly hairs near my dick is the last day you'll ever hear from me. Now that is an addicktion! Get it? Because I changed the...nevermind. 

Increasingly Bizarre Content

“Just as an alcoholic or drug addict builds up tolerance, so does a porn addict. As the person becomes bored with 'regular' porn, they will often start professing to more bizarre fantasies or fetishes. In some cases, the pornographic material is illegal, which is a serious sign of a developing or developed addiction.”

Okay, this one is partially true. To me it is not so much as building a tolerance so much as finding out that there is shit out there that you have thought of but didn't know that people had done let alone filmed and put online. I was just talking to someone recently about folds in skin (elbows, knee joints, foot fucking, belly hole fucking) existing as porn. I didn't mention the belly hole one. Do I watch them? No. Do I know they exist? Yes. If you are watching illegal shit chances are you should be on a watch list of some kind. I didn't know that I was such a fan of underboob until I saw it online. But I would never ask someone to try the stuff I see in porn because flexibility is overrated and I don't drink whiskey that often.

Lying About or Hiding Porn Use

“Lying is a common trait among all addicts, as they try to keep their addiction out of sight of not only loved ones but themselves as well. If you find yourself lying to loved ones about the amount of time you spend viewing porn, you may need to seek professional assistance.”

If someone is asking chances are there is some truth to it and/or evidence that you have a problem. All the Kleenex is vanishing. Your socks have been extra crispy lately. Lotion disappears at an alarming rate. You sitting in another room alone saying you are watching Star Wars because folks keep hearing Chewbacca sounds. This also depends on who is asking. If it is someone that is not having the sex with you it is none of their business or you overshare on your blog. Welcome to Dantania! But if your partner wants to know then you need to talk. Maybe they are not providing you with enough and in some cases what they are providing is terrible service. 2 out of 5 would not recommend to a friend sex is worse than none. I've stopped bad sex and blowjays (not a typo) and handled myself later because I am a grown ass man having sex with a grown ass woman and am not in the mood to teach!

Inability to Stop Despite Negative Consequences

“In many cases, a porn addict will lose interest in having sex with their partner because their partner is unable or unwilling to duplicate scenes in porn videos. Actor Terry Crews opened up about his porn addiction recently, stating how he began to feel about his wife and others he engaged with sexually: 'People become objects. People become body parts. They become things to be used rather than people to be loved.' This altered way of thinking can cause serious issues in a partnership for obvious reasons.”

Again. Leaving out the fact that he was having sex with prostitutes! I ain't even got nothing against prostitutes, but you can not just keep saying that he had just an addiction to porn! I am terribly single with no partner in sight. If you made prostitution legal right now I would have less money in my pocket every few days. And by days I mean hours. If you get mad at your wife because you can not lift her to try out that standing 69 you saw the other day then maybe you should get in better shape. You even lift, brah?

I watch porn because it is fast and effective. Do I like women that are not in porn? Of course. They just don't like me back and if they did and we were in a relationship I would not be watching the porn. The only time this was an issue for me in a relationship was when I dated a virgin for two years and we did not have sex and she did not like me watching porn. I tried to reconcile this with my wang aka The Chocolate Hammer aka Tim Burton aka The Kansas City Beefs aka The Hospitalizer aka The Widower Maker aka Martin Luther Thing aka Mustakrakish aka The Issue aka The Cookie Duster aka Timothy Elephant. If I can not relieve myself through porn and you are not giving me any action, then what am I to do? The last thing, and I mean the last thing you want me to do is use my imagination. I won't even get into the weird shit I come up with on my own.

If you are with someone and you watch porn and use prostitutes because you are not getting what you want from your partner just break it off. Even if you have a house and kids. It is way better than having to explain why your dick is on the floor because you slept with someone in the backseat of the family van that looked a little like Lupia Nyong'o and a lot like Otis Redding. Or get a hobby, ya fucking freak. I have and continue to say that sex is as important as you make it in a relationship. I have been in some were it was very important, kinda (because I was not enjoying it), or non-existent. If you start out the gate doing butt sex and after a few months go downtown on special occasions chances are someone is gonna be real unhappy.