Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Grown Ass Man Tips: Calm Down


Have you ever been upset and someone told you to calm down? Did it work? Chances are it didn't. So why are people still saying it to one another? I have never in my life talked to a woman that was upset and said “Calm down...” because I grew up around a lot of lady folk and knew that those two words would not only not work but make them more upset. Why? Because they humans. I know in the way this world is running right now people like to forget that part. We are so busy giving ourselves new and special titles and racing to belong to a group so we don't feel alone that we actually leave out the part where before any of that stuff we're human. Unless you're a robot and reading this in which case I'd ask if you had better things to do.

A couple of weeks ago I heard a lady shouting at her dude from my window. “Action!” was said by me as it usually is and I went to look like the nosy resident I am. This lady was upset for whatever reason at her dude as they returned from the local weed shop (I know this because of their obnoxiously loud red bags that litter the sidewalks here in West Hollywood) and she told him to go back to his shitty apartment in his shitty car and that they were through. So of course he told her to calm down. Guess what she did? She went fucking megaton. I'm not sure how old this couple was and hope that they have not nor will they procreate but he should've known that if someone is screaming at you and saying they are through the best thing to do is either stand there silently and let shit run its course or get in your car and leave. Under no circumstances should he have engaged her the way he did. I mean he followed her as she screamed down the street and back to the car. Hopefully they no longer talk to each other.

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