Dante And His Weird Dreams

When I was a kid I had some strange ass dreams. They were far more vivid than the ones I have now. I recently had one that involved pirates, a hovercraft, and my best friend. That was a cool ass dream. But when I was a youth there were two dreams that fucked my head up something fierce.

Now with this first one I’m gonna talk about is one I had so many times and each time I woke up freaking the hell out and burying my head in a pillow. In hindsight the dreams aren’t even scary. Its actually really goofy. It involves a monkey and shoes with wheels. Yeah.

The dream starts with me sitting on my porch. I was about 6 years old at the time. I’m sitting there minding my damned business when all of a sudden this row of racecars pull into the driveway and screech to a halt. Then all of the drivers look over at me with helmets that match their cars. I jump up and trip on my doorway which in real life in the 9 years I lived there I never tripped on.

I found this image way too damned easily.

I get up and race to my parents room where I see a monkey sitting on my fathers chest with a big ass knife and covered in blood screaming. The monkey, not my father. He was dead. I looked to the window where the backyard and presumed safety was but as soon as I run towards it I wake up in bed.

The dream monkey was way scarier.

Now, as I am writing this I decided to check the Internets to possibly see what the hell these this dream could mean. You know, like, one of those dream interpreting things? This is what I found.

“To see a monkey in your dream symbolizes deceit, insight and intuition. Those around you are working to advance their own interest. Alternatively, monkeys indicate an immature attitude, a playful nature and the mischievous side of your personality.


To dream that you are feeding a monkey means betrayal by someone whom you thought cared about your interests.”

I don’t know what the fuck that means. I wasn’t feeding a monkey. The damned thing was killing my father. As for the weird racecars here is what I found.

“To see a race car in your dream symbolizes your hard driving and headstrong attitudes. It may also reflect your competitive nature and the need to win. Alternatively, the race may be a pun for your issues with ‘race’ and ethnicity.”

I don’t know what the hell this means either! Both of these are so weird in their interpretations. I had this dream for years at least three times a month until they stopped to be replaced by a weird dream that involved The Apache Chief from The Super Friends.