Monday, June 23, 2014

16 Year Old Dies From Energy Drinks


A 16 year old girl named Lanna Hamann died of a heart attack. All of the reports are saying that 16 is such a young age to die of a heart attack. I think any age is too young for your heart to explode. I thought my brother dying of a heart attack at 32 sucked and I can't even imagine someone dying at 16 for no reason. But there is a reason. Too many energy drinks.

I used to power down any energy drink that you put in front of me years ago. When I worked at the porn shop I was in charge of ordering supplies including the food. I would drink Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, NOS, 5 Hour Energy, Full Throttle, and Street King. I know I am leaving some out. I knew that they weren't good to me like a lot of other shit I put into my body. You put what you want into your body and I'll put what I want into mine. Maybe if you're lucky I'll put myself into your body.

“Anything can happen at any time, and it was so unexpected” one of her friends said. Not really when you consider that her friends and family openly admit that she loved energy drinks and drank them all the time. While in Mexico chilling on the beach and pounding energy drinks she said that she wasn't feeling well and ended up dying at the hospital. Hell, I expect someone to die from just walking into a hospital in Mexico let alone if you have an actual reason to go. 

A cardiologist named Jack Wolfson sad that chances are she died from the energy drinks. Don't mind me while I clutch my pearls! “There is medical evidence that these things do harm, they can cause changes in the heart rhythm, and impact blood pressure. These drinks should be regulated as alcohol is, no one under the age of 21 should be allowed to have these drinks.”

Science created it, science shall try to destroy it.

If you still want to talk to me later and are afraid of being offended, you should check out now and stop reading.

Oh, you son of a bitch! Whah! Someone died from making a stupid decision! Whah! No one cares about this girls health enough to have told her to calm the fuck down with the energy drinks! Everyone knows that these things make your heart speed the fuck up. That's what they do! You feel tired and instead of resting you decide to take something to pick up the pace. Some try coffee, some try pills, some chew leaves because they're all holistic and shit, and others grab a can of devil's piss and start kicking through the walls of reality.

Manergy!!!

Why is it that when people make bad decisions everyone has to pay for it? This isn't like when you slap a warning on a lawnmower because someone thought that they could clean it while the blades were still running. If I had a friend that was like “I have to drink this Red Bull everyday or else I'll go crazy!” I'd tell them to not be a stupid person. If they decided that they wanted to keep on doing it, that's on them. At 16 you have somewhat of a grasp of what is okay to eat and what isn't. That's about it. Other than that at 16 you're pretty much functionally retarded. But you know what these drinks do and what will happen if you drink them like water. Speaking of which...

Remember that chick that drank water for concert tickets on a radio station and died from the shit? No one went around screaming about banning water, just stupid contests. People were surprised that you could die from drinking too much water. Really? They need to just make a universal label that goes on food that says “Too much of anything is bad. Idiot.”

Now this girls family is trying to get her body shipped to Arizona because its still in Mexico. Let me tell all of you now: if I die somewhere it costs money to ship back, just burn it. I don't need the shit anymore. How can it cost $13,000 to send a body? I would have Little Miss Sunshine'd that in a second. Won't have my ass paying that much money for anything. In closing, if you drink too many energy drinks you will in the best case scenario you'll be an energetic asshole/feel like shit and worst case scenario you'll die in Mexico and make your family have to raise money to ship you back home. Also, don't go to Mexico. That place is dangerous as fuck.  

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