As smart as I was as a child there were
still quite a few bits of basic information that I did not learn, was
not taught, or never bothered to learn at an age appropriate time.
I'm not quite sure how to describe the way I learned certain things
while others just scooted on by. But there are some things I do
remember learning or stumbling across and learning. These are Five
Things I Learned Late. I know that you will read this and either
laugh or feel bad for me. Don't. Feel bad that I ain't got any ass in
a year or because I didn't taste a real mango until I was 35 years
old.
How To Tie My Shoes
This one is a combination of parents
that didn't give a damn and a lazy kid. I saw kids tying their shoes
that were younger than me. I saw it on TV shoes. I knew that it was
something I needed to learn, but fuck that. I was young and had shit
to do. I didn't have time to be stopping to bend down and tie
something I could just stuff into the sides of my shoes. Mind you, I
waltzed into kindergarten knowing how to read and do math and at the
age of 7 was reading at a junior high level. I just couldn't tie my
shoes. It wasn't until I was 9 years old that I said “Guess its
time to learn this” and did. It didn't take long at all. I just
stared at my shoes, recalled some bullshit I saw on a TV show where a
kid learned to tie his shoes, and that was it.
