Today I have managed to survive 35
years on this planet. I was gonna write something about how the human
body changes and is renewed every seven years like we're some kinda
crazy ass human snake hybrids but it turns out that that isn't
exactly true and I'm not gonna waste a moment of these 35 years
trying to figure out exactly what it means. I'd rather stare in the
mirror willing my facial hair to grow faster.
In these Fives Things I Learned To Be
Happy About In 35 Years I'm gonna touch on a few personal things. Its
not gonna have shit to do with former girlfriends, my penis, or jobs
I've had. I have covered that stuff in great deal in previous blogs
already. I'm 35 and too old to be talking about my penis anyway. No
one's every said “Give me some of that decades old dick!” It'd be
cool if they did though because, well, I have one. My penis is old
enough to run for President! Okay. Enough of that.
