You see this thing?! Fuck this thing! There is no reason for a snail to be this goddamn big ever! I don't like this shit for one single second. I don't like regular snails. They are slimy, weird, and leave a trail wherever they go. They're the insect version of that guy named Stephen that you know. Everyone knows a Stephen that hates when you call him Steve. Hey. How about getting a regular name, Stephen! You freak. As I was saying, fuck these things.
They are called giant African land
snails or GALS for short because, honestly, you women don't get
blamed for enough bad shit in the world. How did something from
Africa get all the way to Florida? Because crazy likes crazy. They
were first discovered here in the U.S in 1966 by some scientist who
probably screamed “The shit is this fuck?!” and then ran home in
his lab coat. Florida is being wrecked by these. They are the George
Zimmerman of nature and plants are their Trayvon Martin. They destroy
it freely and move on to cause damage elsewhere.
