Man Offs Himself Over Buffet

Can you imagine being so upset about having your lifetime free pass to a buffet in Vegas taken that you kill yourself? Well, this guy that had obvious mental disorders named John Noble had that happen and he killed himself. My cousin J. tagged me in this story to check out and I was hoping that there was more to it than the fact that he got that angry and sad that he killed himself. He went to the M Resort and left a 270 page long suicide note before heading to the buffet and blowing his brains out. 

He had his lifetime pass revoked because he was harassing a female employees. The first time he had it revoked was in 2013 after he stalked a woman and threatened to kill himself. That got him a stay in a mental hospital. He got the lifetime pass five years ago so it isn't like this was something he was doing since he was a kid and just his way of life. Along with the way too long suicide note he sent pictures and a DVD to the Las Vegas Review Journal before killing himself. In it he details all of the gifts he gave the women. Its always weird to me when guys get upset at women when they aren't picking up what they're putting down. Chicks aren't into that crazy shit. I mean, they are, but, like, when you are a hot guy. Hot guys get away with murder. Literally. They can kill their woman and another one will want them.  

"I'm Not Gon' Be Able To Do!"

LONDON (AFP) – A British multiple sclerosis sufferer lost her court bid Thursday to clarify the law on whether her husband could be prosecuted if he helped her travel to commit suicide abroad.

Wheelchair-bound Debbie Purdy, 45, had asked the Court of Appeal in London to clarify the law on assisted suicide, as her health is rapidly deteriorating. In England and Wales under the 1961 Suicide Act, aiding and abetting suicide is a criminal offence punishable by up to 14 years in prison. Purdy wanted to know if her husband, Cuban violinist Omar Puente, would be prosecuted if he helped her travel to die in a country where assisted suicide is legal, such as Switzerland, where more than 100 Britons have been helped to end their lives through voluntary euthanasia. However, three appeal judges ruled she was not legally entitled to the kind of guidance she was seeking.

Purdy has said that without clearer guidance, she would have to travel earlier to commit suicide abroad because otherwise Puente would have to help her -- and risk jail in the process.

I had no idea that assisted suicides were legal anywhere! Man, Switzerland is a progressive country. Now, the thing about being human, in case you aren’t human and stumbled upon my blog somehow, its easy to die. Humans are a delicate ass creature. Why does this lady have to find someone to kill her?

Maybe its an insurance thing. Like, her husband cant get cash if she kills herself. I also wonder how much it costs to have someone kill you? This is crazy. Couldn’t you just go outside and step into traffic? There’s sharp objects all over the place. You don’t have o go all the damned way to another country to die. A bar of soap can kill you. Sneezing too hard can kill you. You can shit yourself to death.

It kinda sucks that she has to drag her husband into this. Like, I know that they’re married and all that but ain’t nothing in the vows that say shit about having to help off someone.

“Hey, baby. You know I’m dying. Can you kill me?”

“Damn, look at the time! Uh…”

Don’t be asking your spouses to kill you.

Rockets.