"Royce" Part 14

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"We need backup, now! Officer's down! I repeat: officer's down! Multiple victims! I don't care! Get more people here now!" a policeman shouted. He fired his weapon at Royce but kept missing because he was shaking so badly. Royce kept firing his weapon at the patrol cars.

"Why won't this son of a bitch go down?!" another officer asked. "Has he even run out of shots yet?"

"I don't think so!" the policeman replied. He looked around and saw many of the officers either on the ground dead, bleeding, or hiding behind their vehicles. He had never seen a weapon like the one Royce was using. It appeared to glow at the end of the barrel. 

A news helicopter flew too low and drew Royce's attention. Royce aimed at it cutting right through its tail end sending it spiraling to the ground.

"Everyone move out!" an officer screamed as the helicopter crashed to the ground taking out six police cruisers. A huge fireball exploded in the sky. Royce never stopped firing his weapon.

"Royce" Part 13

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"When is father coming back, Albany?" Anne-Marie asked. Their father Castor Danish had not been heard from in over a week. There was food in the house for now but not enough to last another seven days or so.

"How am I to know?" Albany replied. "I am tired of this child" he said while cradling Royce in his arms. "Why do you not hold him, sister? Just for a bit. My arms are getting tired."

"Really? Father will be upset if..."

"Father is not here!" Albany shouted as he thrust the child into Anne-Marie's arms, almost dropping him.

Anne-Marie took Royce and pat him on the back. Many times during the night Anne-Marie would sit next to his crib and read stories to him. Stories of pirates, adventures, and crime novels she found under her fathers bed. They were different from any books she had seen before. Many of them had photos paper clipped with men that she knew as associates of her father. Some of them were covered in sheets or in bags.

The child never cried and that worried Anne-Marie. He would just sit and stare at whomever walked past him. Even when Albany dropped him a few weeks ago he did not make a sound. He just looked at Albany and sighed.

13 Years Later

There are things that we think of every single day. What to eat. Chores. Pooping. Just regular things that come across your mind every day like normal folks. For the past 13 years there has not been a single day where the thought of my brother Kevin that died when I was 22 years old doesn't cross my mind.

It's not as romantic, thoughtful, or pleasant as it sounds. In movies when you hear people say they think of someone every day it sounds nice. I'm here to tell you that it isn't as sweet as it seems. It sucks and it hurts. Yeah, a lot of the time when I think of my brother I think of all the funny things he did or said. I think of hanging out with him. Teaching me how to drive at the age of 9. Watching wrestling. Waking up mad because his allergies would make him scratch his ear and clear his throat super loud.

But other times I just remember that he is dead.

"Royce" Part 12

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"What is the deal with you and that Royce fella?" Van Housen asked Solomon. They were at a drive-thru waiting for their change. "Albany said that he beat you up when you were younger or something."

"What have I told you about talking to that fat fool without me around? You can't believe anything he says" Solomon said of Albany. "That monster Royce pulled a chunk out of my skull when we were children."

"What do you mean 'a chunk'?" Van Housen asked.

"What do you think I mean, jackass? He literally pulled my scalp off. My parents spent so much money on surgery afterwards. I never got to pay him back. He even killed my friend Tommy a few years after that. Idiot tried to kill Anne and got shot dead in the street. Get the change" he said to Van Housen.

"Thank you, sir. Come again soon" the cashier said.

Surprise Boners

There are certain actresses that for whatever reason suddenly flip the script on my ass. Like, one second they are just there doing what they do and all of a sudden I like them. The earliest example I have of this happening is with Alicia Silverstone from The Crush. I remember watching this with my friend when we were maybe 14 years old. I knew who she was from small parts on TV shows and her face bugged me. But while watching this movie something changed.

Pictured: Black man kryptonite!

There is a scene where she is riding a horse and being an asshole. The movie is about a crazy ass chick that messes with an older man then goes bananas. Great movie. So anyhoot, she is riding a horse and wearing this outfit and suddenly I grew hair in new places. I was like “Man, I can't stand her with her stupid beautiful hair, cute crooked smile, and legs that won't quit. Wait. What?”

That Ain't Candy, Kids

A 30 year old mother by the name of Ashley R. Tull of Selbyville, Maryland is in trouble because she didn't check the bag she sent her child to school with. Tull sent her daughter to school with a different backpack because the dog had ruined it the previous night. Her daughter took the bag to school and upon opening it found a bunch of little bags. You see where this is going. Her daughter, thinking it was candy, started handing them out. Turns out they were bags of heroin. Red chicken. Diesel. Golden girl. Spider blue. Rihanna. Brown sugar. White nurse. Sanford & Son. Black tar. Number 8. Scat. Mud. Baba Booey. Witch hazel. You know what I'm talking about. Despite this she was not charged with possession or charged as a dealer. She was charged with maintaining drug property and three counts of child endangerment. She got out on $6,000 bail. That doesn't seem to be all that much money for having your kid take drugs to school (on accident) and handing it out to other kids. If they had eaten that shit this story would be all over the news. Be that as it may, I stumbled across this story and am still shocked that she didn't get charged with more stuff. Maybe heroin is cheaper than I think. Just checked online. Between $140-150 a gram and she had 3.735 grams. 

"Royce" Part 11

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"Drop the fuckin' knife or I swear to God I will blow your goddamned head right the fuck off!" Lady screamed at Juan Baptista. "Do it!"

"Chica, I am gonna make sure you have a matching set of hands!" Juan said as he jumped at Lady. She fired two shots and clipped his shoulder. He grunted and jumped behind the couch. "I found my blades, mujar" He said. "I am gonna chop your head off now." 

Lady ran into the kitchen and hid behind the counter while reloading her gun. Anne's house was very small and did not leave much space for cover. "Donde estas, corazon?" Juan sang in a singsong voice as he twirled his blades in the air. Juan Baptista, also known as John the Baptist, had a weapon that few could understand let alone fight against. 

Two butchers knives connected with leather straps.

"Fuck you, Baptist!" Lady said as she jumped up firing shots at him. "How dare you fuckin' attack me here? There are rules!"

"Fuck rules, nina. There are no more rules. Didn't you hear? 'The War' is about to begin" Juan said. "So I figure, 'Juan, why not take out your enemies before 'The War' starts?' So here I am." Juan twirled the blades in circular motions before throwing them through the air towards Lady so fast they made a sound.

"Royce" Part 10

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"Stay out here, woman" Djinn said to lady. "I do not want your help. I do not need your help."

"Nigga, I don't even like you so you need to lower the bass in your voice" Lady said. "Miss Anne and your punk ass boss said we would work well on this gig and I am not in the habit of questioning Anne decisions. But now I am not so sure."

Djinn and Lady stood in the front of a mansion that was surrounded by a twelve-foot iron gate. Behind the gate stood ten Dobermans, just waiting for one of them to try and climb the gate. Mouths foaming like so much water at a beach. 

Lady stuck her metal stump through the gate and three of the dogs jumped at it. Two bit down on it and yelped in pain. Lady smiled as she checked the damage.

"Cool" she said while wiping the saliva from the stump. "I don't wanna be using guns on this even though I fucking hate dogs. Let's try an' do this shit as quiet as we can. Okay?"

"I do not take orders from a woman. Especially one with a handicap that would prevent her from pleasing a man let alone cleaning their home properly" Djinn spat. "As I said before, you will wait here and I will handle this. Is that understood?" He withdrew his two-foot blade from its holster and pointed it Lady.

"Sure, Aladdin" she said as she banged her stump against the fence, sending the dogs into a frenzy. Lights come on inside the mansion and multiple shadows could be seen moving about. "My bad."

Where You At?: Michael Schoeffling

After my last post trying to find random actors (or actresses if some dude responds) Njeeeri wanted to know about Michael Schoeffling. I had to look up who this was. One because that name isn't even kind of familiar and two because she didn't just sat “Jake Ryan.” He is best known for being in 16 Candles which I didn't see until I was in my 20's. Turns out this guy was active from 1984 till 1991 and then he vanished off the face of the Earth. I could find only one recent image of him and I had to clean it up to even make him visible. And I'm still not sure it's even him! He retired from acting to provide for his new family and has been making handmade furniture ever since. Good for him. His wife is a former model and he has two children. At the age of 53 he has made it this far with no mugshots or weird stories...like how I sold porn to Long Duk Dong. True story! Who else? Oh, Principal Rooney! I sold porn to 80's icons that I wasn't aware of until too late to truly enjoy it. Let me know if there are any other folks you want me to look up.

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"Royce" Part 9

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"Apply pressure, damn it!" Anne screamed at Royce. She was driving her Oldsmobile at a dangerous speed as Lady bled to death in the back seat. Oberon had shot Lady in the back during a meeting in which Oberon threw a bag of cocaine in her face. Lady in turn pulled a blade and slashed Oberon across the chest. "Are we near the hospital?" Anne asked Royce. "This is not the time to be silent!" she screamed.

Royce removed his tie and attempted to soak up the blood pouring out of Lady's back. He climbed into the front passenger seat and stomped on the brake. The car screeched to a halt. 

He looked at Anne and she climbed out of the car as he slid into the drivers seat. Anne jumped into the back seat and cradled Lady. Royce sped the car in reverse and turned down an alley.

"Where are you going? This is not the way!" Anne shouted. "Where are you taking her?" Royce looked at Anne in the rear view and continued driving well over 110mph. "It's going to be alright, kid. You'll see. We will take care of you. You will not die", she said as she pat Lady on the head. Lady coughed and blood sprayed the back of Royce's head and part of the windshield. Royce sighed and wiped the blood with his hands.

"Royce" Part 8

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"Albany, I have heard that you were involved in what happened to our brother. Please tell me it's not true."

Anne sat across from Albany at a hole in the wall bar near Royce's apartment. Albany brought Oberon and Djinn along. Anne brought Lady. So while Anne talked to Albany to find out the truth their help sat at a nearby table.

"I had nothing to do with the attack on Royce. I was very saddened by what I hear happened to him. I was planning on visiting him but he was taken away before I could" Albany said. He tried to hide his smirk underneath his mustache. "I heard he killed over twenty people leaving."

"It was thirty three. He was leaving whether they wanted him to or not, you know how he is. And seeing as how I know you know how baby brother is you know that if he finds out that you had anything to do with that attack, he will kill you. He would kill me if he knew that I was even talking to you."

Anne remembered for a moment all those years ago when Royce shot both her and Albany. She took a bullet in the arm. Albany took two in the leg. His cane is his own personal reminder of what not to say to Royce.

"Royce" Part 7

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"So how old are you anyways?" Lady asked. She and Royce were on their way to 'work' under Anne's insistence. She tricked Royce into it by asking him to say yes or no, knowing that he chose not to ever speak. "I know Anne is older than you but that's not saying much because she is just a few years older than dirt."

Royce just kept his eyes on the road and scratched his neck. Lady looked at his dashboard and reached for the glove compartment. She heard a click and saw that Royce had a gun aimed at her head. She slowly placed her hand in her lap.

"You could've just told me to not look in there. What's in that anyway? Guns? Knives? Body parts? Yeah, I bet that's it. You look like the kind of guy that keeps body parts. You know John the Baptist? Not the religious dude, the Mexican one Juan Baptista. They say he keeps body parts. That shit is gross. How the fuck you gon' keep heads and shit?" she asked Royce. 

He just signaled left and turned slowly.

"You drive like an old man, old man. How fast does this thing go? It looks older than you. Does it run on hope? Come on! I know you never talk but you could at least laugh. Why don't you talk anyway? Is it some secret oath or something? Did you say one thing once and never chose to again? I wonder what your voice sounds like. Is it high? I bet it's high and that's why you never wanna talk. All squeaky and shit."

"Royce" Part 6

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"I respect your opinion, Solomon, but I suggest you watch your mouth" Albany said as he and Solomon dined on steaks that cost well over $900 each. Albany did not touch his. It was his subtle way of letting Solomon know that he was that wealthy.

"I just don't get it, Albany" Solomon said as he shook his head. "You have enough money to hire the best that money can buy. But for some reason you desire to surround yourself with Negroes."

"Djinn is not a Negro. He is Arab. And money has nothing to do with this. They are good at what I pay them to do" Albany said as he sipped his wine. "Oberon alone was a millionaire before he began working for me. Djinn was rudderless but once he was trained to channel all that rage in my service he became the third deadliest 'worker' in the country."

"Who is number two? I know who is number one..." Solomon said while rolling his eyes.

"We all know that my baby brother is the best. God only knows how he is still alive. But as for number two, Juan Baptista is just amazing. Have you ever seen him work?" Albany asked.

"Once. That was all I needed. Too bad he's a dirty Mexican otherwise I would have scooped him up a few years ago. I hear your sister has just hired a cripple. What is wrong with your family? Do they choose to be failures?" Solomon asked.

Where You At?: Bruce Penhall

Earlier today I wrote one of my All Gown An' Shit posts about chicks that I liked when I was younger. I asked my friends if they had anyone that they used to like that I could search for. Well, Dashuh was the first to respond and she asked for a guy named Bruce Lee...Penhall. God, it would've been funny if it was regular old Bruce Lee. Penhall was a racing champion born in Balboa, CA in 1957. He retired in 1982 after winning his second World Championship. Way to leave 'em hanging. He later went into TV like folks did back in the day. He was on Renegade, The Facts Of Life, and CHiPs which was one of the coolest shows ever as well as a few movies. I'm not sure of what he's been up to since then besides not wearing shorty shorts. I mean, come on. Let's discuss the elephant in the room. The ony men that can get away with that now live in my neighborhood. But I can see why Dashuh and many women had a crush on this guy. I mean, look at those legs! Thanks for the suggestion, gangsta.  

"Royce" Part 5

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"I can not believe you did that, you silly bastard!" Albany screamed at Royce. "Do you know what you have just done? Do you have any idea what they will do to avenge their boss? That was Solomon's brother-in-law! You knew that, right? They will kill all of us before sundown, I guarantee that!"

"What was Royce supposed to do? Just pretend it didn't happen? You knew what you were doing when you invited Royce along! Don't play us for saps, Albany" Anne said. "Royce, turn here" she said. Royce turned left onto an unpaved road. He drove a few hundred yards and then stopped the car. Albany looked at her suspiciously. "Now how about you tell me what you really brought Royce and I there for?"

"I have no idea what you mean, Anne-Marie" Albany said.

"Yes, you do. That was not the type of gathering we needed to be involved with. There was nothing but the biggest men from every city. No bodyguards or hired help were there except your brother and me. Now tell me the truth: Why were we brought there?" Anne hissed. Royce at this point lit a cigarette and rolled down his window. The cool night air slowly filled the car like fluid in a punctured lung.

"To make a point", Albany said.

"And what was that point?" Anne asked.