This should be a combination of Dante Vs. Nature and Only In Florida. This poor bastard named Wallace Weatherholt who is a tour guide in the Everglades aka Satan’s Tastebuds was arrested this past weekend for illegally feeding alligator. That doesn’t seem to bad once you find out its only, like, a $500 fine. What’s really honked up is that he lost one of his damned hands feeding an alligator. Talk about getting kicked when you’re down!
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| Who wants num-nums?! |
Now, Weatherholt was leading a tour and dangling a fish over the side to feed an alligator and wouldn’t you know it a fucking modern dinosaur bit his hand off. You know there were people who had taken the tours for years and screamed “Finally!” You know how when people think its cute to feed wild animals like bears? Imagine that with alligators. That’s the main reason the shit is illegal. You don’t want these getting cuddly with humanity.
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| Hugshugshugshugshugshugs!!! |
The alligator that made a Manwich out of Weatherholt was found and killed. They ended up getting the hand back but couldn’t attach it. I don’t think I would want it back. It’d be all kinds of diseased. The beasts chomp shit and swallow it or kill it, let it rot, then eat it. Then there’s the whole death roll. Yeah. These fucking things have a move where they grab you and start twirling until something is torn off of you. Man, fuck that. I cant feel too bad for this guy. You cant dance on a minefield and be surprised when you lose a limb.
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