Dante Vs. Nature 21

Damn you, nature! Most people don’t wanna mess around with wild animals. Sure, some of us want one as a pet but we know better than to actually own one. Sometimes animals want humans as pets and creep into their world and start wrecking their shit. Roger Mundell of Brookfield, Massachusetts was attacked by a punkass bobcat at home. Then it went outside and was like “Fuck guitar solos!” and bit his nephew as well. Not only that, but it had the rabies!

It wants to wear you like a hoodie.

Mundell, not one to let nature eff him in the A without getting his vengeance on ended up shooting and killing the beast because you know that thing would’ve come back for dessert. And by dessert I mean the women! That’s how nature works. Take out the men and children and the next thing you know they’re hearing the lamentations of our women. I’ve seen that documentary Conan The Barbarian. I know how it works.

Thousand yard stare FTW!

Another thing that sucks is that his wife had to get rabies treatments as well because the blood from this monster got on her. Ain’t that some shit?! When Mundell was attacked the bobcat bit his face and clawed him while riding his back like he was his prison bitch. I know these things can look cute and are pretty house cat looking but fuck that. I see one of these I’m dropping it faster than a New Year’s resolution.

"In two years I'm-uh gonna eat ya!"

Bobcats aren’t even an issue where I live. Here I have to deal with pigeons, creepy ass possums, and the occasional raccoon. But I tell you this: if I’m ever waking down the street and see one of these sumbitches I’m gonna punch it between the eyes and ride it home.

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature.