"Table For One"

Standing in the men's room of a club he knows he's about five years too old to be in, Nicholas Solstice tries in vain to remove his wedding band. Soaping his hands in a generous amount of liquid soap he tugs at his finger and feels his ring slip slightly. He tries using his teeth forgetting the soap and gags.

"Must be some hot number" a stranger says to Nicholas as he passes on his way to the stalls. Nicholas ignores him and continues in vain to remove his ring.

"Come on" he mutters to himself as his finger pops from the effort being used. He sighs and observes his reflection in the mirror. His wife has been missing for six months. The police waited three weeks before finally giving up on the search for her. There's no Amber Alert for adults. When you go missing the closest thing you have are news reports squeezed in between stories of the next mating panda or some hot chick making another song about the presidential nominees. He spits into the sink and drags himself back into the club.

The loud, bass heavy music gives him a headache he knows he'll feel in the morning. The three vodka shots won't help either. Never one to imbibe in liquor except on special occasions, Nicholas has yet to master the art of being a good drinker. He stumbles back to the booth he believes to be his before looking to his left and seeing a very unfamiliar face.

"You lost?" a young man with greasy black hair and a lip piercing long enough to skewer passerby's with asks him.

"Oh, no, sorry" Nicholas sputters as he nearly trips leaving the booth. He looks over one booth down and sees his jacket laying half on the table. He picks it up and feels the sleeve which is now soaked with alcohol. "Perfect" he tells himself as his new friend sits down next to him.

"What's wrong, daddy?" she asks him. He hopes he is able to hide his disgust at being called "daddy" by a woman who, if his guess is correct, is actually young enough to be his daughter. "Getting sleepy?" Her name is Collette. 5 feet 9 inches of sex in a tight grey dress with black three inch heels. Her black hair hangs over half of her face as she wipes it away and tucks it behind her ears to reveal her diamond earrings. A move she's surely practiced in the mirror for hours until it became a reflex.

"No" Nicholas tells her. "I think I've had just a bit too much to drink." He yawns and rubs his neck. Collette takes this as a cue to move even closer. She begins to rub his shoulders while breathing down the back of his collar. She smells like lust.

"Do you want to head back to my place?" she asks him while planting light kisses on the back of his neck. "I do this much better in…private settings."

Six months. How long is he supposed to wait? There are no rule books on this matter. It took him over a month to work up the nerve to even come here tonight. The last thing he expected was to meet such an attractive woman like Collette, let alone have the possibility of going home with her. He knows he cannot go back to his house. Except for the lack of his wife's physical presence, the house is still arranged as if she is still there. He turns to face Collette and clears his throat.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for that" he tells her. "My wife…"

"You're married?" she asks him. "That's just great. I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I? Why'd you even waste my time?" All of the sexiness has left her voice revealing the real Collette. A childish woman looking for a way up with the least amount of effort possible. "Loser." With that she grabs her coat, knocking her unfinished drink into Nicholas' lap. Nicholas grabs her arm and she looks at him as if he has just asked her to come home with him.

"Yes, I'm married, but not really" he manages to say to her.

"What in the hell is that even supposed to mean?" she asks him. "Either you are or you aren't."

"Not always" he tells her. Exhausted with the conversation, Collette grabs her drink and attempts to splash it into his face. Realizing that it is empty, she throws the glass at his forehead. The pierced man at the next booth over applauds as Collette walks over to the bar and begins talking to another man. Nicholas feels a trail of blood running down his brow and wipes it away.

Standing in front of the club waiting for a cab to arrive Nicholas leans against the wall to balance himself. He realizes that he is far more drunk than he originally thought. A cab arrives but before he can move towards it Collette and the new guy she met, plus two of his friends, jump in. Collette waves to him as the cab pulls away.

"Rough night?" someone asks him. He looks over and sees the pierced man standing a few feet away from him. He lights a cigarette and inhales deeply before exhaling.

"I don't want any trouble" Nicholas tells him.

"But I bet you always manage to find it, huh?" the guy asks Nicholas. "Be glad it didn't work out with Collette. She's seen more miles than a Jeff Gordon."

"You know her?" Nicholas asks. He notices the large demon tattoo on the guys neck.

"Everyone with male genitalia knows her here" he replies. "The name's Lux." He reaches towards Nicholas to shake his hand. Nicholas reaches hesitantly. Lux suddenly grabs Nicholas by the hand and pulls him towards him. "Nice to meet you" he says an inch away from his face. "Now what are you doing here?"

"I just came for a date" Nicholas says, his eyes wide with fear.

"And…?" Lux asks, smiling wide enough that it looks painful.

"I don't know" Nicholas says as he pulls free from Lux. "It was nice to meet you, Lux. I need to go home now."

"Okay, Nicholas" he says as a cab arrives. Nicholas does not wait for the cab to come to a complete stop before climbing in. As the cab turns the corner Nicholas sinks into the seat as he sees Lux waving to him. A wave of nausea hit Nicholas as he realizes something.

How did Lux know his name?

The urge to get home had never been so strong. Afraid to enter through the front of the house Nicholas ran through the side causing his neighbors dog to bark at him. Stumbling over an old lawn gnome he crashes to the ground. Slowly rising to his feet he listens for the sound of any approaching footsteps.

"This is insane" he mumbles to himself as he makes his way to his back entrance.

While fumbling for his keys he notices that the door is already slightly open. He pushes it and sticks just his head into the kitchen. The smell of cinnamon greets him. His wife loved the smell and made sure that all candles, incense, and room deodorizers were cinnamon. For some reason the smell made him uneasy. Closing the door behind him as quietly as possible he eases into the breakfast nook.

"Welcome home" she says to him. He jumps and slips on the area rug near the doorway. Landing hard on his back he loses consciousness as the image of a woman drifts into his line of sight.

"Nattie…?" he says before slipping away.

"Solstice, wake up!" Mr. Flanger shouts into Nicholas' ear. He almost falls from his chair. He begins shuffling papers and placing loose pens into its appropriate holder.

"Sorry, sir" he says as Mr. Flanger shakes his head in disgust.

"I wanna see you in my office in two minutes" he says before leaving.

Nicholas is so concerned with what he has done to upset his boss that a few important details have slipped his mind. He opens the door and straightens his tie. Mr. Flanger sits with his arms folded. His secretary Diane sits in a chair placed in the corner. The office is uncomfortably small. Diane is less than two feet to his rear and his face is perhaps a foot and a half from Mr. Flanger. Clearing his throat and scratching his chin, Mr. Flanger begins to speak.

"Care to explain yourself?" he asks Nicholas.

"Sir?" Nicholas asks confused.

"Nicholas. We understand that you are under a lot of stress what with your wife being dead and all." Nicholas flinches at the mention of his wife Natalie being dead.

"She isn't dead, sir" he says. "She's missing."

Mr. Flanger looks at Diane who only responds with a shrug. Nicholas looks over his shoulder at Diane and she quickly averts her gaze to an interesting spot on the floor.

"Okay now, Solstice" Mr. Flanger says, looking uncomfortable. "We allowed you almost a month to recover from her funeral…"

"Funeral…?"

"…and we hoped that you would come back better. But your little display this morning was too much. We're gonna have to ask you to clear your desk."

"Funeral? What the hell are you talking about?!" Nicholas shouted. "I didn't take a month off. I was just at home and…"

Pieces began to collect in Nicholas' mind. The last clear thought he had was of himself laying on the floor of his kitchen. Suddenly it was as if the world was closing in around him. He has trouble breathing and could barely make out what Mr. Flanger and Diane were saying.

"…soon…some air! Give him some…hold his arms down…no…well where is security…"

Nicholas jumped to his feet and hit his head on a low hanging chandelier. A group of young people surrounded him at a table in what appeared to be the same club he was at the other night. Or according to Mr. Flanger over a month ago. They laugh at his pain which pisses him off.

"Who are you people?" Nicholas asked which only caused more laughter. "I'm serious! Who the hell are you people?!"

"Calm down, Nicky" Lux says as he places another drink in front of him. Nicholas slaps the drink from the table silencing everyone. Even the music stops. "Now that wasn't very nice."

"Who the hell are you?" he asks Lux. "Ever since I met you nothing's been right!"

"Don't blame me for your shitty life" Lux says which makes everyone laugh. "I'm just trying to help you out."

"Help me out?"

"Sure!" Lux says as a young blond throws her leg over Nicholas' thigh. "Nicky! What would Natalie say about this behavior?"

"She's dead" Nicholas moaned which drew an exaggerated "Aww…" from the table. "Fuck off."

"Who told you she was dead?' Lux asks. Nicholas looks at him and shakes his head. "Natalie isn't dead, man. She's missing."

"No, she's dead" Nicholas replied. His head was beginning to hurt and it wasn't just from the chandelier. "What are you doing to me?"

"Trying to enjoy your company but you're making it very difficult. Let me tell you a story" Lux told Nicholas as they sat at the bar, far away from the entourage that seemed to gravitate to Lux. "It's a sad, sad story. But it's not the story that really counts in life; it's the end. You can tell the most heart wrenching tale, just as long as someone is kissed at the end. Or not alone. That's the most important thing, Nicky Boy. Not being alone." Lux waved the bartender over. Placing his towel over his shoulder the bartender puts his elbow on the bar and sighed heavily.

"What now, Lux?" he asked.

"A drink for me and my friend here, if you please" Lux says with a smile on his face.

"I'm good" Nicholas says.

"Aren't we all?" Lux asks while turning to Nicholas. Nicholas turns away and takes the drink handed to him by the bartender. He has no idea what it is and no longer cares. Nothing is making sense to him. Is his wife dead or not? What did he do that caused him to be fired? What happened to the time? "I mean, on the inside we are all born perfect. Barring the children born with deformities we're all brought into this world perfect. What happened to us, Nicky?"

"I don't know."

"I do, Nicky. I do" Lux says while lightly tapping the side of his glass. "Did you know that thousands of years ago we all lived to be hundreds or years old? Imagine that."

"I don't believe that" Nicholas says while wiping his chin. "It's impossible."

"Oh, I believe it" Lux says with a smile on his face. "The problem is that since you live for such a short amount of time, you attempt to squeeze as much as you can into such a small amount. Look at marriage." Nicholas visibly flinches when Lux speaks of marriage. "Say you live to be, oh, say, 75. Say that you never divorce after getting married at, mmm, 30. More than half or your life is spent with one person. The same face every morning. The same conversations over and over and over again. Back when people lived longer you'd have maybe one hundred years to get your shit together. But now? Please. Now you spend the first eighteen years being taught what you should be. Add maybe ten more if you go to school. The next ten are spent making sure you made the right decisions. The next ten hopefully you found the answer. Now that you're close to 50 it's time to start planning for retirement. Hopefully. Around 60 your body just ain't working the way it used to. The old ‘wedding tackle’ doesn't work the way it used to. You know? Those good years you spent in school and married to the same old ball and chain. Now you're in your 70's and nothing makes sense to you. 'What did I do with my life?' you ask yourself. What's your biggest fear, Nicky?"

"Stop calling me 'Nicky'" Nicholas says. His nearly slides from his stool. Lux catches him. "Thanks."

"No problem, Nicholas" Lux says. "I'm always here to help."

"My biggest fear is eternity" Nicholas says.

"That's silly" the bartender chimes in. "I'd love to live forever!"

"Who asked you?" Nicholas slurs.

"Easy there, pal" Lux tells Nicholas. "This guy here is my friend. Aren't we?"

"I'm everyone's friend" the bartender replies as he walks away to help out an attractive blond at the other end of the bar. "We're all friends here!"

"Mnemophobia" Lux says as he sips from his glass. He leans back and smiles.

"What are you talking about?" Nicholas asks.

"It's the fear of memories" Lux replies. "Everyone has fears, Nicholas. Even I."

"What are you afraid of?" Nicholas asks. "It sure as hell isn't tattoos!" Nicholas laughs loud enough to cause dirty looks from many at the bar.

"Oh, you know" Lux says. "The usual. Heights. Falling. Things like that."

"That's funny" Nicholas says while slowly sliding from his stool. This time Lux does not attempt to help. Nicholas crashes to the ground and smashes his head. "I think I need to use the bathroom."

"Let me help you" Lux says as he throws Nicholas' arm over his shoulder. As they enter the restroom Lux releases Nicholas. He sees the filthy tile rushing towards his face but can do nothing to stop it.

Waking up in the center of a park Nicholas quickly gets to his feet, flinching in anticipation of hitting another chandelier. Sitting at a bench Lux feeds a group of ducks. The smile on his face in broad daylight is disturbing to Nicholas. He walks over to Lux and sits next to him. Lux looks over to him and nods.

"Good morning" Lux says. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"What day is it?" Nicholas asks. "Weren't we just at the bar?"

"Know what your problem is?" Lux asks. Nicholas shrugs. "You ask too many questions. But at the same time you don't look for any answers. You haven't mentioned your wife in years."

"Years?" Nicholas asks, sobering immediately. "What are you talking about, years?"

"I'd say, maybe, 208" Lux says. Nicholas laughs. Lux does not. "You really don't remember what happened to Nattie, do you? I swear I thought I'd get you by your 50th year, but, damn it. You just don't remember."

"Please tell me what you're talking about?" Nicholas pleads. The ducks flew away as Lux finished speaking. The sky was a beautiful blue. A light wind blew causing a slight ripple in the lake they sat near.

"Ever hear the term 'The Devil is in the details?'" Lux asked. "Try to remember. Every single time you walked through a door something bad happened. Think, Nicholas. Think." Nicholas covered his face with his hands and tried to.

"I can't" Nicholas said as tears flowed down his cheeks.

"You don't want to" Lux replied. "Fine. Let me fill in the blanks. One night you came home drunk. Your wife was speaking to your brother James about your marriage which had been on the rocks for the past ten years. You got mad. You attacked your brother. Badly. You went after your wife but your brother tackled you to the ground. You fought him until your wife tried to break you up. You struck her. Hard. She hit her head on the coffee table. Ironically enough, the same coffee table you bought for her birthday that year. As she convulsed from the trauma to her brain you continued to fight your brother. He held you down until the police arrived after neighbors heard all the commotion. James lied for you. Said that you two found her dead on the floor when you two got home. The police believed you. But, man. Guilt can be a son of a bitch. You started showing up to work drunk. Fighting with your co-workers. You even attacked one because he asked how your wife was doing. He had been out on injury leave for two months and knew nothing about what had happened. Your were fired. Spent the next five years living off of your wife's life insurance. One day you wandered into traffic, drunk off your ass. You were killed instantly. And now here we are."

"And where is 'here'?" Nicholas asked.

"Where else would a wife killer end up, Nicky Boy?" Lux asked as his smiled grew until his skin tore at the cheeks. "Disneyland?"