Kids These Days 30

As far back as episode 11 of my Rosscast (which isn't available to listen to) I was talking about something that is apparently something that has made a comeback. My cousin Jasmine brought this to my attention. Kids snorting this candy known as Smarties. Now, there is no benefit to snorting this candy. At best this candy is something to keep your mouth occupied until you are in a situation where better candy is around. Smarties is no one's favorite candy.

A school had to send out a paper with a bunch of warnings on it...to middle school students. Kids that should be old enough to know better than to be snorting candy. It isn't as if doing this powers up your body and gives you the benefit of eating a lot of sugar. Its just dumb. Here are just some of the warnings that parents were given. I swear, if I had a kid and this notice was sent to me I would find out if my kid did it. If they had they would have to sleep on the roof because I just can't handle that amount of dumb living with me.

I'm gonna snort this bitch next!

Cuts- if the Smarties have not been finely crushed, pieces may act like razor blades cutting the tissue with which they come in contact.

Infection – sugar residue may remain in the nasal cavity, sinuses and/or lungs. This residue may lead to infections, cough, wheezing, and possible respiratory arrest.

Allergic reaction – if the child is allergic to sugar snorting or smoking Smarties can lead to an immediate allergic reaction which untreated may lead to respiratory arrest and death.

Possible Maggots – Dr. Oren Friedman, a Mayo Clinic nose specialist, has cautioned that frequent snorting could even rarely lead to maggots feeding on the sugary dust wedged inside the nose.

Precursor to future cigarette smoking and drug use – although there is no addictive piece to Smarties, the concern is this behavior will lead to cigarette smoking or snorting of drugs.

One line? Pussy.

Maggots. That's all you need to tell me. I would imagine that's if you keep your nose just a filthy ass mess and don't wash often. And I'll be damned if I'm taking my kid to the doctor because their nose is all honked up from snorting candy. I got hit by a car and my parents wrapped my arm with sports tape like I was a boxer. Guess what my kid would get? Dr. Waterboard. Just flush that shit out. And who knew that Smarties was a gateway drug? One day you snorting Smarties, next thing you know meth. As silly as that sounds as dumb as kids are nowadays it really isn't much of a stretch.

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