It's Was Just A Giraffe

Let me help you get mad about something other than a giraffe, internet. If you're sensitive stop reading. I'm known for getting bothered by shit that doesn't concern me. You can assume that I have no other worries in my life or that I have too much time on my hands. Honestly, all my shit is being handled by me so that leaves me with time to bitch about people bitching about a giraffe that was killed. Its a giraffe. No one would be this mad if it were a skunk, jackal, or other mammal that wasn't cute-ish. The zoo made this decision to reduce inbreeding as well as teach what the insides of a giraffe looks like, I guess.

At Copenhagen Zoo (do you even know where that is?) a young giraffe was shot with a bolt pistol before having its remains autopsied for a gathered crowd. After this is was given to a group of lions at the zoo that either went “What are we supposed to do with this?” or “Finally! After all these years we can do what we were born to do!” Meanwhile the internet went crazy and 20,000 people that signed a petition went “It's 2014 and petitions mean something...right?” Not always. Sometimes its just nice to have the names of people to look out for. Or to get Justin Bieber out of America.

Just like mom used to make.

The European Association of Zoos and Aquaria (EAZA) said that Marius, the giraffe, was too close genetically to the other giraffes. Giraffes and most animals kept in captivity are bred from a small gene pool. To make sure that there isn't a generation of strange, small necked, two-headed giraffes sometimes you gotta add a little chlorine to the gene pool. Humanity would do well to take note. This isn't something that is exclusive to this zoo. Its not as if they decided for no reason to just 86 this giraffe. Zoos, parks, and animal rights reserves do this. Do you think there aren't hundreds of deers running the streets just because there aren't enough deer? No. Its because they are kept in check just as you do with your pets when you cut out the parts of them that allow them to reproduce.

The zoos director Bengt Holst stated “Giraffes today breed very well, and when they do you have to choose and make sure the ones you keep are the ones with the best genes. The most important factor must be that the animals are healthy physically and behaviorally and that they have a good life while they are living, whether this life is long or short.” He also said that the zoo euthanize twenty to thirty animals a year including bears, tigers, and zebras. But no one is talking about that because it isn't a giraffe.

A spokesman said that parents got to decide whether or not their kids could watch what happened once Marius was killed and as you can see from the photos lots of parents decided that their kids could handle it. And if they couldn't they probably cried and were led away. Whether the kids that stayed and watched regret their decision waits to be seen...later on the cameras they filmed it all on. Better yet, stop taking your kids to zoos. Those places stink and its boring. 

All this stuff comes down to what bothers you and what doesn't. I can think of a hundred other things to get upset about than some giraffe getting killed and fed to lions. Today alone I have consumed as far as I am aware two types of animals. Animals die. Whether they die on a farm, a zoo, or because you can't drive properly they die. We try to make ourselves feel better by saying that since an animal was raised on a “nice” farm its better. We sleep nice because that chicken got to live free range before it was killed. Just accept the fact that animals get killed by us and each other.

I'm sure a giraffe wondering the wilds of Africa would rather take a bolt rifle to the skull killing it instantly rather than being torn to shreds by a wild animal that is burying its face in its intestines. That is if a giraffe could think to prefer ways to die. We do that because we're people. We're humans. We say shit like “I'd rather drown than burn to death!” because we can.

"I sure hope someone locks me in a cage for the rest of me life..."

I wish people would get as upset at how shitty the schools are, how the world is falling apart around us, gay marriage still being illegal, the church and all its bullshit, the fact that we can't speak to each other like people anymore, and drones flying over our heads monitoring us daily as they do about a giraffe. Its just this outrage that seems so false to me. The same people that rage against a giraffe are the same ones that will send five bucks to a foreign country and brag about it but step over homeless people on their own street.