The Coldest I've Ever Been

I am lucky enough to have been born in Los Angeles. I say lucky because the weather here is pretty damned consistent. We tend to stay in the 70's and 80's for weather even during the winter. It doesn't rain often which at the moment is biting us in the ass. My state is thirsty! There has been crazy ass weather all over the country and world. I have read on the east coast how it just keeps on snowing or from friends in Canada how crazy its been. Here is a view from my window at this moment.

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaa!

Its 71 degrees (22 Celsius to everyone else) and very nice. This is what its like in the dead of winter. Back when I was little it used to rain. It would rain for a few weeks straight and the streets would flood and everyone would complain. I didn't because I would always play in the rain. But there was an instance where it rained and I was so cold that I thought I was going to actually die. No joke. I thought that I'd never know what it was like to be warm again.

The day started with rain. Crazy rain. So of course I went and jumped in it making sure there wasn't an inch of me that wasn't wet. I was about 10 years old so I didn't wear glasses at the time which meant wet face meant nothing. So I went through the entire school day getting wet over and over again and sat on the bus ride home soaked. We me and my brother got off the bus (we rode the same bus but never, like, talked to each other) the wind had kicked up. It was the crazy wind we get here every year but combined with a soaked young boy. A stupid soaked young boy.

So we start the march home because most times we weren't close to our home from our bus stop and we moved a lot. I start walking and my arms and legs start shaking. I think its funny for the first block. By the third it wouldn't stop. I shook my arms and legs and they shook even harder. Then the teeth chattering started. I'd never had this happen to me for real. I'd imitated it from seeing it in films, but I never knew what it was like to really have your teeth clicking together because of the weather.

Fuck this.

It was probably at that moment I decided to never live anywhere that froze. I have been in the snow once in my life and it didn't make me feel as bad as this did. We were about two blocks from home and every corner we reached was flooded which meant that my feet got doused with a new splash of cold water. Every time I took a breath my body took it as a cue to shake harder so I held my breath. This didn't help. I might as well have been naked at this point because my clothes were completely drenched. Then I heard a horn beep. It was my parents...waving. And continuing to drive home.

“They better hope I die before them...” I thought to myself as I kept walking home. I finally made it indoors and by this point I wasn't even thinking straight. I took off my shoes and stepped into the shower and just turned on the hot water. Turns out this was a bad idea. I started shaking even harder than when I was outside! After a few minutes I started to feel better and peeled my clothes off while still in the shower.

I'm sure there's some people reading this with three feet of snow outside their doors and trapped inside. Sucks to be you. It really does. I wouldn't wish that weather on anyone. Which is why I'll never live anywhere that can be shut down because of weather. Now pardon me. I think it just dropped down to 70 degrees and I need to put some socks on.