What L.A Is ACTUALLY Like For Visitors

I saw a post from a site I don't care to mention where they listed 21 Things You Have To Explain To Out Of Towners Visiting Los Angeles. That is a ridiculously long title for anything. Hell, even the bible is just two words. I'm not gonna sit here and cover all twenty one things he wrote about because he's not worth it. So I will show what they wrote, their explanation, and my comments.

To whoever wrote this article, please stop saying “us.” You don't represent L.A. You come across as those people that move here from another state and become a cartoon version of L.A. I read some of the comments people have been making on your post and laughed because you're a senior editor.

“We've all had visitors who show up here to couch-crash, carless, and -- while you may be laughing at their face while they talk about 'just taking public transportation' while they're in town -- it's not really their fault that they have NO IDEA WHAT LA IS REALLY LIKE. Here are some things you should give them a heads-up on.”

You need a car

There's no usable/convenient public transportation. There're no accessible taxis. And walking? Hahahahahahahahahaha.

I have to say that whoever wrote this doesn't know what L.A is really like. I don't drive. I have friends that don't drive. I also have friends that drive that prefer taking public transportation. Know why? Its a buck fifty! For that amount you can travel from Downtown all the way to the beach without having to step off the bus. Where does this person even get the balls to say there is no usable/convenient public transportation? You miss your bus another one comes in ten minutes or less. There are buses, shuttles, and subways. As for taxis I have used them plenty of times. You can just call for one, flag one down, or call one of those weird cars with mustaches. Come on. You're not even trying.

You can wear flip flops to pretty much anything

Except some of the bars, and all of the nightclubs...unless they're beach-themed nightclubs, in which case, you can wear your sexy flip flops.

I don't even know where they got this from. The only people that live in flip flops here are just visiting. Most people I see wear all manner of shoes but not really flip flops. And why the fuck would you wear them to a bar or nightclub unless you love feeling sticky floors and booze on your feet?

Yeah, the weather here sucks in June.

It's really cute that all you brought are shorts and t-shirts. But it's going to be 64 and drizzly the entire time you're here. June gloom bro...sorry.

That whole June gloom thing doesn't always happen. And how can I begin to complain about rain (its raining right this minute) when out of 365 days of the year its summer time for about 350 of those days? I had someone visit me in October years ago around Halloween and guess what we did? We went to the beach.

There are two San Vicentes, and two Rodeos

And you definitely don't want to end up at the other ones. Because you'll be lost!

Unless you get directions. Its not that complicated. And there are not two Rodeo's. There is Rodeo (pronounced Row-day-oh) in Beverly Hills and Rodeo (pronounced Ro-dee-oh) in Los Angeles. I was on the bus one time when a driver announced we were nearing Rodeo and La Brea and the entire bus screamed “Ro-Dee-oh!!!” and started laughing.

Actors don't hang out in Hollywood

And especially not at Hollywood & Highland.

Everyone knows that famous people hang out at the restaurants up and down La Cienega and The Grove near The Farmer's Market. Don't be a rookie. It also depends on what your definition of “actor” is.

The cops actually do give jaywalking tickets

We don't care if “no one waits for the stop sign in NY”. You aren't in NY. Also, getting a jaywalking ticket is SUPER embarrassing. Yes, from experience.

It is so damned rare that someone gets a ticket for jaywalking that its almost an urban legend. People run out into traffic all the damned time and don't get hit. Chances are you're more likely to get hit by a car following the rules. Source: my messed up leg from getting hit at a crosswalk.

It pisses us off when you say that Downtown “feels like a real city”

Mostly because a real city that barely anyone lives in and feels completely closed at 10pm, is not a real city. Also, Los Angeles -- all of it -- is a real city.

I have never heard anyone that was born and raised here have this line used on them. I think this writer hangs out with a lot of assholes.

No, there's not an accident up ahead. Or roadwork. Or a big event everyone is trying to get to.

It's just 4pm on a Tuesday.

Yeah. There's traffic. Lots and lots of it. But that's mostly because assholes like you think that everyone needs a car and that there's no public transportation.

You can't take a picture in front of the Hollywood sign

And don't try hopping the fence. No...really. Don't.

Of course you can't. Its been that way for a while and for good reason. People are stupid. If the public had access to that sign you can bet your ass that it would be covered in graffiti in hours and have letters missing.