Human Traffic Cone

There's this chick in Australia named Kimberly Davis that doesn't have the proper amount of respect for human life as most others. Now, I know some of you are calling me a hypocrite since I call for death by potato and/or “helirocktors” (helicopter that drops rocks on people) every other day. But I don't go out of my way to be an asshole. Things have to come into my orbit, fuck with me, then the potatoes come out. This 21 year old was accused of texting while driving when she hit someone on their bike. He ended up with a spinal fracture and was in the hospital for three months. This guy suffered a ton of injuries because this girl wanted to text away on the phone. But that isn't the worst part. Poor Kimberly got a human sized dent in her car!

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“I just don't care because I've already been through a lot of bullshit and my car is, like, pretty expensive and now I have to fix it. I'm kind of pissed off that the cyclist has hit the side of my car. I don't agree that people texting and driving could hit a cyclist. I wasn't on my phone when I hit the cyclist.” She was fined $4,500 after running dude over and driving away for 300 feet then refused to help him. Reports show she used her phone 44 times while driving before hitting him. She'll be getting her license back near the end of the year. The guys wife says that doctors told her that he was very close to being a paraplegic. I wish I could send my helirockters all the way to Australia and just level this girls car. Just dent the shit out of it. Then fart in her pillow and leave a note saying “You're welcome!” because I am a very polite person. But seriously. Helirockters.