If You Can't Beat 'Em Lick 'Em

This weird bastard named Christopher Nicholas Hiatt who is 34 going on 63 was arrested outside of place called Pisser's Palace in Walkerville, Montana. That is a lot of bad on one sentence. Hiatt called cops to report a theft when they realized that there was a warrant out for his arrest. Hiatt is a man that looks like he isn't the type to go quietly into the night so of course he resisted arrest when they tried to handcuff him. When they tried shoving him into the police car he licked the eyeball of one of 'em. Ew! He is in jail on $45,000 bond and has been hit with four charges including felony assault on a police officer as well as assault with bodily fluid. There is a thing where folks like to lick eyeballs but the amount of diseases you can cause doing it or get having it done include styes, the clap, all the way to blindness. Fuck all of that. If I were a cop and you licked my eye I would have no choice but to beat you like a rug. But seriously. This guy is a year younger than me.