Guy Promises The Law He Will Stop Having Kids

Jessie Lee Herald, a 27 year old guy from Virginia, was arrested in December after running from a car accident, literally, while holding a three year old boy. He was charged with child endangerment and driving with a suspended license. That sounds bad enough but then you add the fact that he struck a plea deal where he agreed to go to jail for four years, have five years of probation afterward, and then get a vasectomy within a year of being released. Wait. What?!

“It was primarily due to the fact he had seven or eight children, all by different women, and we felt it might be in the commonwealth's interest for that to be part of the plea agreement”said prosecutor Ilona White. The plea he signed also says that he won't try and get the procedure reversed. It turns out that Jessie here has fathered seven kids with six different women. Sadly, that shit is not really that uncommon, at least in my family. Oh, don't try and act like your family don't roll like that!

His record also includes drug charges, hit and run, and “unlawful wounding” which I guess is worse than lawful wounding. Not even sure what that shit means. If he was attractive he'd be worshiped like that Jeremy Meeks guy. Yeah, I'm still bitter over that whole situation. I am always curious as to how guys like this are able to not only get with women but somehow finagle them into having their kid. Not once or twice, but seven times. Twice with one of them! Does he spit game that well? Are these women stupid? Does he have the magic stick?! Maybe he does. Either way, ew. This dude is too young to have that many children and not live on a farm that supplies food for the county.

I've never gotten a chick pregnant and never even had one of those “Oh, shit...I wonder if she's pregnant” moments in my life and am so happy for it. The idea of “Oh, shit...another one is pregnant” is terrifying. I've told friends that if I got someone pregnant and knew that our shit was going downhill I'd have to use every ounce of my convincing to get her to abort it. I am not built to care for a child let alone with someone I don't plan on sticking with. This Jessie fella did it seven times. Its admirable in a terrible way.