Tale of Two Gregory's Jerking It

Gregory N. Kotzar, a 56 year old of Dover, Delaware, is in trouble for jerking it in his backyard while being butt booty ass naked. Some chick employees at a dental office that were able to see this freak-show called police saying that they saw him walking around nude and touching his nasty old thangy thang. Oh, and the fact that a few months prior h had left some business cards at the dental office. He's done this a few times and enough is enough. He was charged with four counts of indecent exposure and two of lewdness. He was released on $4000 bond. I would've left his ass in jail for a while and seen if he did the same routine there. May I add that this guy does not look like he was built properly? The head, shoulder, neck ratio seems to be all out of whack. If I saw this guy playing his fiddle in public I think I'd stare a little longer than needed just because he looks so weird. It'd be like if you were hiking and stumbled across Bigfoot masturbating. Should you run? Yes. Should you look? No. But you will. Shut up. You know you'd watch some Sasquatch beating it.

Then down in Florida 53 year old Gregory Johnson was jacking off in his car. In front of a family. In the parking lot of a Walmart. He was also carrying condoms and Viagra because you never know when you could get some stank on your hang low. He for whatever reason then got out of the car and kept on masturbating because fuck giving up, right? Turns out this asshole is a registered sex offender and is on probation for alleged sexual assault. He was charged with probation violation and lewd and lascivious behavior. Can we just say he was charged with being a nasty bastard? Is this what I have to look forward to in my 50's? I just throw away all my prudish behavior that I've been carrying around all these years and just start whipping it out in front of folks? I hope not. I have gray hair already. By the time I'm 50 what's in my draws will look like a dark Christmas tree. That went off the rails quick, didn't it? But seriously. Look at this guy. If you told me that he wasn't the kind of guy that jerked off in public I wouldn't believe you.