Friday, August 1, 2014

Dante Vs. Nature 44

Me and nature have a deal. I stay away from it and it is supposed to stay away from me. Works most of the time. But there are laces called zoos and sanctuaries where nature is locked up and for some reason we feel like things are safer. I'm sure Renae Ferguson thought she was safe when she asked one of the zookeepers at the Sunrise Side Nature Trail and Exotic Park if she could pet a lion. “I put my hand down there to pet it and it ripped my finger” she said. “I would like to see more precautions taken to protect the people as well as the animals.” More like protect the animals from goofy ass people who think that it is fine to pet an animal that kills other creatures with its face. Its face! Even in the face of logic as well as the king of the jungle she thinks that she isn't at fault. She was surprised that a lion bit her finger when she tried to pet it. Read that sentence again and let it marinate for a few seconds. She said the park told her not to tell anyone what happened.The zoo has a different story.

“The lady went into the security area and was told by the guide to get back and the lady stated she wanted to touch the lion and continued, against the guide's warning, to put her finger inside the fence and the lion nipped the end of her finger.” Just by looking at her picture I believe the parks side of the story, then I listened to her talk and not sound sound like a dick, but anyone who thinks the phrase “Oh, my gosh!” after having their fingertip bitten off probably ate paint chips and bit the family dogs tail growing up.

“I put my hand down there to pet it and it ripped my finger. I was in total shock. I really didn't believe that was part of my finger laying on the ground.” I can. Know why? Because a lion bit you! Lucky that wasn't all that was taken away. The zoo has waning signs telling people not to get too close to the lions the same way hair dryers tells idiots not to blow dry their hair while showering. They also say that she went into an area where she shouldn't have been to touch the lion. “They are beautiful, but don't do it” she said because apparently that is a thing that people have to be told. I'm not even comfortable being in the same state as a lion let alone going to a park and trying to get close enough where I can even smell them. I hope this lady gets nothing but head shakes from people that see her.

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature.  

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