F**k Your Sign

Next to religious differences the next worse thing you can base a friendship or relationship on is zodiac signs. “Ooh, you're a Pisces?!” said no one ever. Dead serious. I spells it wrong most times. When someone asks me what my sign is I already know that it's not gonna make them happy. For whatever reason people do not like Pisces. I had no say in the matter of which month I was born in and even if I did I would not pick a particular one. It's not like I can say that one month is better than another. Here is my horoscope for today from a few sites.

“Career matters are probably going well for you, but you might be unsure if you want to continue along this track. You might consider other options, perhaps some you've always wanted to try but have never been in a position to do. Don't feel you have to decide now. You have plenty of time. Don't make a move until you're sure.”

“You've got another nice, quiet day -- the stuff that lovely memories are made of. Your heart is primed for romance, tenderness and the exchange of truly meaningful words with the right person. Spend as much of your time as you possibly can with someone who shares your affectionate feelings, even if you're just friends. You know exactly who to invite along for the ride, so get on the phone”

“You have something to believe in, giving you strength to achieve great things today. Be prepared to go the distance though, for things won’t be served on a silver platter. To create beauty in the real world, you need to get in touch with it, and set your expectations straight. There is a lot to learn about your aims and strivings. Shoot high, but do it with love and let the inspiration and your talents guide you in the right direction.”

“Strivings” ain't a word. Now, I just clicked on the first three that I found and they did a good job of hitting all of the right humanity panic buttons. Career. Love. The future. These are three of the main things that people worry and stress about and there is no better way to handle them but to think that the stars have a say in the matter. It's not even in your hands for the most part. It's the universe! That person does not like you because they were born in a different month and that month just so happens to clash with yours. You didn't get that job because the moon wasn't high enough in the sky. Listen to what one site says about dating a dude with my sign.

“The sign of Pisces represents all shady, dishonest activities, adultery, lies and misconceptions. On the other hand, it is also a sign of ultimate trust and faith one has. One of the biggest challenges for a Pisces man is to stay in an awkward situation without pretending to be something he is not. His approach to truth can be quite challenging for his partner, especially if he is dating a Fire sign, proactive and straightforward. In general, he will be careful not to be dishonest about important things, and when he finds himself in a truly intimate relationship, he will have no reason to fear his partner, and it will be easy for him to be honest.”

That first sentence alone will make a lot of dudes lonely because some chick out there read it and believed it. The problem with believing in this kinda shit is that you fail to realize that it is just vague bullshit. Everything is either or. The person will be loving or hateful, nice or cruel, a cheater or the love of your life. I went out with someone who was way into this shit a while back and when she asked what my sign was I just sighed at her and let her know what it was and that she will hear nothing good about it. She then preceded to bust out some tarot cards and fiddle with them shits. I was stuck in the rabbit hole of nonsense that thankfully lasted less than a month.

The thing with this stuff is that I treat it the same way I treat religion. I do not care what you believe in as long as it makes you a better person. The problem is that people who believe in some things strongly will impose their beliefs on others or judge you for not thinking the same way. The same people that go to psychics, mediums, and have magic stones rubbed all over their bodies are just as likely to believe that a magical man in the sky dictates whether or not you get to play in clouds for eternity or burn forever. Again. Believe whatever you want but don't put that shit on me. The funny thing though is that I believe that some people can heal people but most of it is through the power of convincing people that they are healed. The human mind is a very powerful thing and the right person saying the right things can make incredible shit happen. Also, most predicting is just pattern reading. But those same people can be super manipulative and people that believe in the things I mentioned above are really easy to fool which is funny because they are the ones that say out loud how smart and clever they are. Pro tip: It is easy to take the money of hurt people. 

When I meet someone and they are way into astrology and want to talk about it chances are I will go blank thinking of what to do later or attempt to change the subject to something more interesting like anything else. Don't let what month when someone was born dictate how you are going to approach them, treat them, or what a possible future could look like. Why stop there? Go based on their accent, skin color, or blood type for compatibility! The only time I need to know when you were born is to possibly get you a gift or know when to avoid you because you're miserable on your birthday. We put value on things and can not expect others to do the same. I look at crystals the same way I look at diamonds. They are just rocks. My friend brought me some rocks from a glacier that are worth more to me than diamonds because my friend gave them to me as a gift knowing what I like to collect but I would never expect anyone else to feel the same. Plus diamonds are just rocks, too.