I just found out something new. Incels.
I had never heard this phrase or term before and decided to check it
out. I thought that this was a joke or some small thing that would go
away. Turns out that it has been around, like, forever, but was given
the name “involuntarily celibate” by a lady from Toronto named
Alana in 1993 after she came out as bisexual. She started a forum
online, Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project, but shut it down
because, surprise!, a bunch of angry ass men joined to rage against
women that didn't want to bone down with them. She stated in 2016
interview in Elle “Like a scientist who invented something that
ended up being a weapon of war, I can't uninvent this word, nor
restrict it to the nicer people who need it.”
Urban Dictionary's top rated definition
states that an Incel is “involuntarily celibate, a person (usually
male) who has a horrible personality and treats women like sexual
objects and thinks his lack of a sex life comes from being ugly when
its really just his blatant sexism and terrible attitude. Incels have
little to no self awareness; even when they see other 'ugly' men with
girlfriends, they consider these men to be tricksters who have
somehow beat the system and can get women despite being cursed with
unattractiveness.” New York Times describe it as
“Incels are misogynists who are deeply suspicious and disparaging
of women, whom they blame for denying them their right to sexual
intercourse.”
I have not had sex in years but would not consider myself involuntarily celibate.
Even when I was short and raggedy, tall and awkward, skin all jacked
up, hair a mess, or chubby I never considered myself celibate. Sex is
always available to most people in some way or another if you're not
a raging asshole and not rapey. Hell. Some raging assholes get a man or woman to
date them so I can't even say that. When I say that sex is available
I say that knowing that sex is something that comes with other
things. I don't want to just have sex with someone I barely know, say
bye, and vanish. Maybe these angry ass people do and that in and of
itself is a problem.
To hate women or anyone
because they won't have sex with you is fucking ridiculous. A few
months ago I told my best friend that I was bitter because of how my
last relationship ended as well as a three week nonsense fest I had.
I was bitter but it never and still has not gotten to a point where I
blame women for any relationship issues I have. Know why? Because I'm
not an idiot. People have the right to date or have sex with who they
choose. I can't be mad that someone doesn't want to date me and would
rather date pr sleep with someone that is worse for them in some
cases and better in others. I was bitter at the men that created
issues that a lot of women carry well into adulthood. I didn't say
“Fuck women!” I was more “Man, fuck these
dads/uncles/brothers/bad boyfriends that turn women into this.”
Terms that Incels use
are “Chads” and “Stacys.” Chads are men that are successful
with women and Stacys are the women that “reject” Incels. The
reason this stuff has come up is because of two terrible attacks made
by dudes that were mentally unstable as fuck and used women as a
weapon for their attacks. Back in 2016 Elliot Rodgers kill 6 and
injured 14 people in Isla Vista (click here for my post about that).
A few weeks ago Alek Minassian praised Rodgers saying “The Incel
Rebellion has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and
Stacys! All hail Supreme Gentleman Elliot Rodger!” He killed 10
people by running them over in Toronto. Rodgers also said “I'm the
perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at these obnoxious men
instead of me, the supreme gentleman.” And?
My interpretation of
these guys and those that think like them is to get your mind right.
Looking back at when I could not find a girlfriend for anything it is
obvious why I couldn't. I didn't deserve to have one, let alone one
that would have the sex with me, because I was a loser. Not the movie
version of a loser that exercises, gets a makeover, gets contacts
instead of my glasses, and next thing you know I'm getting more ass
than a proctologist. I didn't think I was worth liking and depressed
as fuck so I attracted women that felt the same about themselves and
we would make an echo chamber of negativity. Echo chambers are
dangerous as fuck and you may be in one and not even know it. You can
find a community of people that think just like you and reinforce
your crazy ass thoughts until you start to think your ideas and
beliefs are normal. We all need someone in our lives that tell us the
truth and we don't all have that. We need people that ask us why we
think the way we do. People that challenge your ideas and thoughts.
“That person that you never talk to and just stare at from a distance
doesn't want to fuck you? That's shocking.”
Life is full of
rejections. I used to bang my head against the wall trying to figure
out why people didn't like me. Meanwhile I didn't even like myself.
Instead of asking why someone doesn't like you honesty ask people why
they should. I have asked friends “If you weren't you would you be
friends with you?” I have been asked and I say “Sometimes.”
Because I don't consider myself exciting or funny. If I wanted to see
a movie, go to lunch, lift heavy shit, or talk honestly I'd call
Dante. You can not get mad that someone doesn't want to be with
someone who believes that women or men should have sex with them just
because you want them. If you looked at it from the outside it would
sound insane. Imagine you watched a movie where that was part of the
plot. Actually there are movies like that and the guys are lunatics. These guys
think that just because they want someone they should have them. They
leave out the “whether they want to or not.” I think I've written
enough about this crazy shit. In closing, if someone doesn't like you
it's not because they are evil. It means they have a say/choice in the
matter. Deal with it.
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