The Seven People You Meet During The Pandemic

I haven't done one of these in years. In 2020 during March the world went to shit due to a virus that is still going. 2020 was a strange ass year for so many reasons but I am gonna focus on The Seven People You Meet During The Pandemic. My birthday week was the last normal week and I miss that level of normal. The world was bad but I could find joy in things like hanging with my few friends and seeing movies, concerts, and shows. During the past year there have been a lot of strange new versions of humans to emerge from the shadows. I am gonna write about seven of them. Are there more than that? Sure. But this is a post about just seven of them. It's the theme of this post, you weirdo. You might be one of these seven. I may be one of them. The world may never know!

The Conspirator

5G! Its 5G! I honestly haven't read enough about what 5G exactly even is to blame it for Covid or any virus (and this is not an invitation to teach me). There are people that think getting a vaccine shot will be a way to be tracked by The Man. Tracked for what? You ain't interesting enough to follow online let alone in real life. People who are worried about being tracked are usually carrying a tracking device in their pocket. You're probably reading this on a tracking device. Its called a cell phone. It tracks where you are all the time. “I turn mine off so they don't know where I am!” Except when you take an Uber or Lyft. Or order food. Or make a phone call. Its not a conspiracy. Its life. We're all being watched because we think cameras make us safer. Give the police cameras so they won't beat Black people like drums. How'd that work out? People that hold strong beliefs about being watched will also cover their home, inside and out, with cameras. Its not a conspiracy. Its a fucked up virus. If you are this person get a hobby. If you know this person tell me about them because conspiracy people are fun to me.

The Partier

What pandemic? What virus? It is time to head out and gather around a bunch of people with no masks on! You're young. You have no underlying health issues. You are pretty much invincible, right? Until you realized you weren't and even if you showed no symptoms you and your raggedy ass friends just flung the virus around your other friends, family members, and coworkers. But its fine. You're not sick and that's all that matters. Fuck the fact that people have died. You haven't. Fuck washing your hands. They look clean. Go hang out. How else are you supposed to meet new people and get your fuck on? All the dating apps you have suck. You don't know what everyone is so upset about. Its not like they've been stuck at home working and/or taking care of their family for almost a year. They should come to the party and relax. If you are this person you're an asshole. If you know this person you shouldn't for much longer.

The Panicker

This is the person that raided stores for toilet paper. Why toilet paper? A year later and I'm still not sure why that was the thing. And how much are you folks using?! This type grabbed more food than they needed. Elbowed folks out the way to get the last can of Beefaroni. They turned shopping into Black Friday every day. They also bought guns. Why? I guess in case someone tried to raid their toilet paper supply. The strange thing about these people is that they knew there was a virus. They weren't denying anything. But for some reason they would not stay inside because they panic shopped and would forget things which would lead them to going outside and panicking more. If you know this person (or if this person is you) get help.

The Screamer

This sumbitch. Middle of the night. No reason. Just yelling. Middle of the day. Shouting at the top of their lungs? Why? Lots of reasons. Some are saying because people are having a hard time handling the pandemic. Guess what? So am I. But what I am not gonna do is take out my feelings on the rest of the world. These people need to stay offline. Stop reading bad shit all day and then wondering why they can't sleep. Scream into a pillow, not outside. You shouldn't be trying to make other people feel the way you do especially when you ain't feeling good. If you know this person talk to them. They ain't right.

The Diner

Time to eat! People that work in the food industry already had it rough before the pandemic but now they have to double as security guards. They just want to not be broke and are working to give us food and there are people that refuse to wear a mask to just pick up their food. They want to dine in, damn it. There are some set ups where eating outside is doable but there are also places where the set ups are trash and shouldn't be allowed but will because there are idiots willing to risk illness and/or death to have a burger. These people have marched in the street and damn near rioted because they demanded that they be served food maskless. If you know any of these people make sure you stay away from them for two weeks.

The Logical One

This person buys enough food to last for a month when they go shopping. Better yet they have it delivered. They contact their friends who may be struggling. They understand there is a pandemic and wear their mask not because it is fun or even works but as a preventative measure because they listen to people smarter than them. They wash their hands and use hand sanitizer. They are not holding it together as well as it seems to others. Just because they follow the rules and care about the health of themselves and others does not mean they are enjoying being quarantined. But they do know that they have to keep their shit together because doing otherwise would get them sick or someone they care about and also prolong this nonsense. Don't think because they aren't complaining that they are happy. If you know one of these people thank them. If you are one of these people, thank you.

The Celebrator

What's today? Tuesday? Don't matter. Its firework o'clock! When the pandemic started people filled up NextDoor and the internet in general by asking “Was that a gun or fireworks?” because most of the world didn't grow up in LA and don't know the difference. St. Patrick's Day. Fireworks. Mother's Day. Fireworks. 4th Of July. Team winning championships. Thanksgiving. Christmas. MLK Day? Fireworks. I don't know where people got all these things or where they have been storing them but fuck every inch of their bodies for using them. They wouldn't even wait until the night time to use them. They just did it because...I don't care. They're assholes. If you're one of these people go to hell. If you know one, why are you still talking to them?

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