The Seven People You Meet On Dating Shows

I've watched dating reality shows in bits and pieces in the past or read about them. Its one of the types of shows I haven't worked on yet and would talk so much trash if I did. The past few months I've been watching more of them and I've noticed certain people that appear on all of them in some form or another. I decided to make this The Seven People You Meet On Dating Shows. I'm sure there are way more but this is my blog and I wanna focus on the nonsense that sticks out in my head.

The Hunger

This person is so desperate to be in a relationship (“I don't wanna die alone!”) that they will accept anything put in front of them. This person is rarely single and will jump from relationship to relationship without pause. They will beat their friends ears wondering why they have such a hard time finding their true love and attack any actual advice that would put them on the right path. Fuck taking the time to figure out what they actually need in a relationship. These people tend to date the same mistakes over and over again. Guy dates a woman that treats him like shit? Woman with an emotionally abusive guy? That Hunger wants more of that as fast as it can get it! There is no point in trying to stop this person and they usually wont change their behavior until after watching the show and seeing what that shit looks like on screen.

The Seven People You Meet During The Pandemic

I haven't done one of these in years. In 2020 during March the world went to shit due to a virus that is still going. 2020 was a strange ass year for so many reasons but I am gonna focus on The Seven People You Meet During The Pandemic. My birthday week was the last normal week and I miss that level of normal. The world was bad but I could find joy in things like hanging with my few friends and seeing movies, concerts, and shows. During the past year there have been a lot of strange new versions of humans to emerge from the shadows. I am gonna write about seven of them. Are there more than that? Sure. But this is a post about just seven of them. It's the theme of this post, you weirdo. You might be one of these seven. I may be one of them. The world may never know!

The Seven Friends Your Friends Have

Whenever I write posts like these a bit of myself is in some of the personality types I'm shit talking. I do not have many friends. I have people that think they are my friend or closer to me than I have actual friends. I know that I am not an easy friend to have because I have a set of rules that I do not break and if I do it is because that ass was just too good to pass up. I know it is annoying and aggravating to my friends and people getting to know me like when you wonder why Batman won't just kill The Joker.

It's because Batman doesn't kill!

So in this post I am going to talk about The Seven Friends Your Friends Have. I write this knowing that I am some of these things to people at least for the time being. Hell I might be all of them. Meeting the friends of your friends can be either exciting or terrifying depending on what they have told you about them or given you a heads up like “Susan is a close talker.” If I meet someone's friend and they are cool I know that I'll end up being a better friend than my friend if I want. It's happened. It's not pretty.

The Seven People You Meet Around New Years

It is almost a new year and when the New Year's comes people get weird as fuck. That is why I have written The Seven People You Meet Around New Years. This is a quick guide to recognizing who is around you at this time of year and you may find yourself in one of these. You probably will. Not me though. Why? Because I'm the greatest man that ever lived and a goddamn national treasure that needs to be respected as such, that's why. Stop asking so many questions. And I stay home. On New Year's I have been to churches, raves, parties, in the streets, and just stayed my Black ass at home. I prefer the last one because I will not bump into any of the things on my list. But if anyone wants to swing on over for a free mustache ride...

The Seven Ex's You'll Have

This post is gonna apply to men and women so don't get confused when I switch between terms like “he” and “she” and shit like that. I mean, that doesn't even matter to a lot of folks these days. Its just a regular ol' bangarang orgy in these streets! In this post The Seven Ex's You'll Have I will talk just about that. This will of course include some experiences I've had in the past and since I ain't had a real girlfriend in four years or any stank on my hang low in over one I feel that I am an expert in talking about this kinda thing. Or not. Either way I have a blog, fingers, and too many opinions I like to share with strangers. 

The Seven Men Women Shouldn't Date

I feel that I need to preface this by saying that I am not an expert at anything except complaining. I can complain about any subject you give me. I have written posts like The Seven Women Nerds Will Date, The Seven Men Female Nerds Will Date, and The Seven People You Find On Valentine's Day. This time I will cover The Seven Men Women Shouldn't Date. Now you may know someone that is like the type of guys I am describing or you may be one yourself. Either way, this isn't about you...right? I'm just some random ass dude just talking shit and you shouldn't take any of this personally. You shouldn't but you will because that's how people are these days.

“What makes you such an expert on who people should or shouldn't date, you asshole?” someone just asked aloud which is weird because this is on a screen and won't respond to you. I'm not an expert on any one thing. Rather I'm like Batman. He is great because he is good at a lot of different things. It gives you a pretty good all around concept of how things and people work. And as always there are exceptions to rules. I hate that I even have to say that, you babies. This is the part where instead of reading you scroll through quickly to see if you or anyone you know made the list. 

The Seven People You Find On Valentines Day

Its Valentine's Day! Yay? Right? This is one of those holidays that is either something that you look forward to or dread. For some people its like an extra birthday where you get showered with gifts by one special person or a bunch of people that you aren't really into. And for some its like penis Christmas. I've written about The Seven Women Nerds Will Date and The Seven Men Female Nerds Will Date in the past. This one will be The Seven People You Find On Valentines Day. Now let me explain my own views on this holiday.

It stinks. Not because I'm single because I've been in relationships during this time of the year. Its because I was a bomb ass boyfriend. Yes, I will toot my own horn. So when this damned day rolled around I was like “Damn it. I already did her hair, massages, eyebrows, bought flowers because its Wednesday, and paid for dinner and a movie. What magical bullshit do I have to do today?!” This holiday is never for guys unless you're, like, in a gay relationship. And for any girl that just said “I treat my man great in Valentine's!” let me tell you this because he won't because he hopes to get laid tomorrow: you should be like that all the time. I mean that in the least misogynistic way possible. If you're in a relationship where you don't feel like a champion almost everyday then you're not really in a relationship, now are you? If you guy is cruising through life getting you flowers on February 14th, your birthday, or when someone dies then good on him. He isn't as dumb as I was.

The Pretender

This is the person that will tell you that they are fine with being single on Valentine's Day but on the inside they are sad as all hell that they are watching everyone in their office get sent flowers while their desk is covered with pictures of their cat and their one best friend that is gonna start talking to them less because she got engaged to Rick and fuck that guy, right?! The Pretender is sad because they think they are tricking everyone by faking they are okay with being single. They aren't.

The Seven Men Female Nerds Will Date

Recently I wrote a post called The Seven Women Nerds Will Date. Some people were upset by it. Probably because some of the things listed hit too close to home. Some guys were able to admit that they have dated one or more of the different types of women. Then there were the “white knights” that stood up for women and thought that I was just being a bitter and angry man.

It was cute.

This time I am going to cover The Seven Men Female Nerds Will Date. Maybe you were nerdy and chubby but over time improved. Still, on bad days you feel like that child that people picked on for being different. If this post upsets you then chances are you have some deep rooted anger issues. This is just a blog written by someone you'll never meet that happens to know that you have bad taste in men. I'm kidding! But totally not. And he's some light listening music.

The Seven Women Nerds Will Date

For all intents and purposes I am a nerd. No, not one of the cool ones that exist today by putting on a pair of fake thick framed glasses, dressing strange, and finding the most obscure things to get into. No, real nerds are like The Incredible Hulk. You try to be normal and at the most inopportune time your nerdiness rears its ugly head. You name every Robin that ever existed as the person you talk to eyes glaze over. You want to stop but you can't.

They must know there was more than one female Robin!

In this post titled The Seven Women Nerds Will Date I will discuss the different type of women that you have dated, will date, want to date, or know better than to attempt to date. Now, I'm not saying that none of these relationships work out. Some do. In dreams. You can even date a combination of these wrapped into one. Play this while reading to set the mood.