Saturday, September 8, 2012

Dante Vs. Nature 17


Its going down. I always assumed it would be giant robots or aliens but it turns out I was wrong. Its gonna be mice. Goddamn tiny ass mice. At Yosemite National Park people starting to die from the hantavirus. Oh, what's that you ask? Just a fucking disease that is spread by being exposed to these diseased ass mice pee, spit, and poop. So far three people have died and eight in total have reported being sick since sleeping in the area since early June.

As you can see, no expense is being spared.

Some of the folks that got sick are recovering but fuck that. As soon as the first person died they should have broken into whatever the fuck was on TV and been like “People are dying from the rats! Shit is going down and you all now know!” This hasn't been on the news really all that much. You always wonder in disaster films where it involves a virus how so many people can get something and everyone is quiet about it. This is how. No one is talking about this except for some random ass Black dude with a lot of blogs.

"No mice here!" he said while inhaling death pee.

Many of the cases are from what are called “signature” cabins. They don't look all that special to me. I mean, I guess its better than sleeping on the ground in the middle of the woods until a mouse pisses on you and you die from what you think is a regular cold and wake up dead. And in case you're wondering what the cure is for hantavirus its nothing. There is no cure. How about we spend money stopping weird ass germs like this instead of going overseas to shoot people who ain't speak Ainglish or going to planets to confirm that there is no life there.

"Is that the new iPad?!"

There is a six week period where this shit lies dormant in you before you start to fall the fuck apart. Nature, you bitch. They are trying to calm people down by saying that more than 36% of people who get this virus will not die. Hey, guess what? That's not reassuring, science!

Click here for previous Dante Vs. Nature.

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