I
have had people ask me what a Spank Bank is. Urban Dictionary
describes it as “A
memorable collection of mental images that one wishes to retain for
masturbational purposes.” That is the perfect definition. I have
written about my own personal SB's in the past and they involved
everything from musicians, actresses, to fictional characters. Unless we're related no one
is safe from a Spank Bank.
No
one.
The
thing with Spank Banks is that it rotates. Not everyone stays in the
bank forever. You can have an ex-girlfriend in there for a long time
after you split and then she gets replaced by someone you saw walking
down the street. Its that easy. Its usually filled with women you
know you cant have. At least that's my experience with it. If you
have known me for more than three minutes you know that I kinda have
a thing for Rosario Dawson.
Will she ever have sex with me? Nope. But that doesn't stop her from being deposited. That's the magic of the bank. There are probably three girls reading this right now that have no idea that they have occupied my bank for a while. Or maybe they do know. Hello. Comfortable? Haven't seen you in a while. You look good. Been working out? Yeah. I can tell. We should hang out sometime.
I've
actually been asked by women if they were in my bank. That's not
cool. You cant ask that kinda question without being withdrawn from
the bank. The best part about it is having someone not know they are
there. If you have been confirmed as being deposited you need to make
a withdrawal. From my pants.
My
Spank Bank's wealth has been dropping considerably the past years
years. Between pregnancies, marriages, and silly relationships, all
the women I like in the real world and fantasy have been vanishing.
And this isn't their fault. I'm just far more immature than I appear
most of the time.
The Fap File has slowly replaced the Spank Bank in
the past year or so but these are temporary fixes. I look to the next
generation of actresses to deposit in the bank but they're withdrawn
before I can even spend them due to them opening their mouths. Most
young girls are stupid and that's not cute. Lots of them are cute but
they don't look like “women.” Like, Jennifer Lawrence is being
called sexy but even in her “sexiest” pictures she looks like an
18 year old girl. Plus blue eyes and blond hair creeps me out 9 ½
times out of ten.
What
was the point of all of this? Nothing really. Just pointing out that
the less horny I am the less violent I get. I become a bitch factory
when I'm horny or hungry. I have money for food but refuse to pay for
sexy. In cash. Emotionally, yes.
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